


The Other Side

by Revans_Mask



Series: Ashara Shepard [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-29
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-17 12:01:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 25,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/867292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Revans_Mask/pseuds/Revans_Mask
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not always easy dating the woman who has to save the galaxy but Liara is determined to make it work with Ashara Shepard regardless.  The impending end of the world, her own bouts of shyness, and even death are just obstacles she'll have deal with.  Short stories from Liara's POV set across all three games.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Unusual Inquiry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even though they've started dating, there's a surprisingly mundane detail about Shepard that Liara doesn't know.

Despite her lack of romantic experience, Liara still knew that it was an unusual question to have to ask. Her first thought had been to go to Doctor Chakwas; after all, the commander’s medical records must contain the information she was looking for. However, after being firmly informed that “It is not my prerogative to disclose personal information about my patients,” she needed to consider alternatives.

She thought next about Kaiden since he had been on the Normandy before any of the rest of the team. Tali, though, had let it slip one night that Kaiden was sexually interested in Shepard and that she had rejected him, so Liara felt odd about asking him. The quarian didn’t know herself, and if she didn’t, Garrus and Wrex probably didn’t either. Ashley had been somewhat stand-offish since Liara came on board, and she didn’t trust that any answer that Joker gave would be serious, which exhausted the members of the crew she knew well enough to talk to.

She could have tried searching the extranet, but she didn’t have a secure connection of her own on the ship, and she didn’t want Shepard to think that she was spying on her. (Years later, as the Shadow Broker, she would find recalling that concern quite humorous) Out of other alternatives, she resolved that she would simply ask the Specter. Their relationship might have been just beginning, but surely, this was not too personal an inquiry.

Her next opportunity came shortly after their mission to Tuntau, when the commander visited her small room behind the med-bay.

“Liara. Just thought I’d stop by for a couple of minutes before my shift starts.” There was light in Shepard’s green eyes as she walked in, and the asari smiled up at her. These talks had become the highlight of her days, and even if she was a little nervous about this one, she still felt the slight giddiness the commander’s presence usually brought on.

“It is good to see you. You seem in a pleasant mood.”

“Well, we had a good day yesterday. Wrex got his armor back, the pirates got shut down, and I didn’t even flip the Mako over.”

“I am glad to hear it. There is something that I wanted to ask you while you are here. Since we are beginning to, I mean to say, we agreed that we both felt, that we are…” 

“Dating?” Silently, she thanked Shepard for saving her from herself. Liara got so flustered around her sometimes, but the Specter never made her feel more uncomfortable about it than she already was.

“I believe that is the human expression. And since we are dating, I think that perhaps I should know your first name. After all, it is not as if you call me Doctor T’Soni.”

Shepard laughed, but there was no mockery in it, only amusement and affection. “God. You’re right. It didn’t even occur to me. It’s Ashara. Ashara Shepard.”

Ashara. It rolls easily off the tongue, actually sounding somewhat like asari she thought. Ashara and an asari. She liked that. “It is a very pretty name. Why do you never use it?”

The commander’s smile became wistful. “You’ve probably heard about this already, but when I was 16, the little colony I grew up on was attacked. Batarian slavers came, and…” Shepard paused, the lingering pain of the wound showing through despite her best efforts to mask it. “Anyway, when the Alliance rescue team found me, everyone who’d ever known me as ‘Ashara’ was dead or gone. I think I just started going by ‘Shepard’ for a fresh start.”

Liara had indeed been aware of the rumors, but hearing them confirmed by the woman she’d come to care about was something entirely different. Tentatively, she reached out a hand to comfort her, letting it rest on the commander’s strong shoulder. “I apologize, Shepard. I didn’t mean to bring up such an unpleasant memory.”

Shepard’s smile brightened again, her hand rubbing Liara’s arm. “Don’t worry about it. You didn’t know.” The commander got up, and as their touch broke, Liara was surprised by how much she regretted the loss of that little contact. “I’m sorry, but I’ve gotta go. My shift is starting.”

“Of course. I am glad that you came.” She forced herself to smile back, but inside, she was worried that her question had driven Shepard away.

And then, just before the commander exited the room, she turned around. “Liara, I think I’d like it if you called me Ashara sometimes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know why, for technical reasons, nobody calls Shepard by her first name, but I thought it would be interesting if there was a reason in-game for it as well.


	2. Shaken and Stirred

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a bit of a bumpy ride for Liara.

Lurching out of the elevator and through the corridors of the ship, Liara staggered into the med-bay, covering her mouth with her hand.  There were spots behind her eyes and one glimpse of her condition caused Doctor Chakwas to rush to meet her.  “Liara!  Are you all right?  Shepard didn’t report that you were injured…”

Before she could continue, Liara shoved her out of the way with a biotic field just in the nick of time.  Liara doubled over, falling to her knees and emptying the contents of her stomach all over the floor of the med-bay, the bile burning in her throat as her guts heaved.

When it was over, Doctor Chakwas knelt beside her, running her hand over her still-armored back.  “What’s wrong?  Were you exposed to a toxin on the mission?”

“No,” Liara managed, her voice sounding as weak as her body felt.  “Just sick.”

The doctor stood up and retrieved a couple of blue pills from a bottle, handing them to her along with a glass of water.  “Here, take these.  They will help with the nausea.”

Liara gulped them down and then swallowed the water, trying to wash the horrid taste out of her mouth and only partially succeeding.  The discomfort started receding, only to be replaced with shame.  “I am so sorry, Doctor.  I have made such a mess.”

“Oh, don’t worry dear.  I’ll get someone to clean it up in a minute.  Now, why don’t you tell me what happened?”

“It was…”  She took a deep breath, trying to settle her nerves.  “It started when I was in the Mako.  I got motion sickness.  I thought that I had it under control, but the turbulence on the shuttle ride back made things worse.”  She blinked hard.  “I feel like such a weakling.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, Liara.”  She smiled kindly.  “Is this the first time this has happened?”

“It has never been this bad.”  The older human looked at her with understanding and Liara decided to be honest.  “But yes, I have been nauseous before.  There is just so much shaking and bouncing.”

Chakwas nodded, understanding.  “Unfortunately, while Commander Shepard may be an excellent soldier, you are not the first person to tell me that she has a habit of plowing through obstacles rather than around them.”

Liara nodded weakly.  She admired Shepard’s forcefulness, but when they were all stuck in that horrid metal can, it could be an issue.  “I know it is not my place to question her tactical judgment, but I do wish that sometimes she would display more care in her driving.”

“You should tell her that.”

“I cannot.”  Despite the kindness she had been shown there, she already felt somewhat out of place on the _Normandy_.  Ashley, Kaiden, Garrus, Wrex… Aside from Tali, every other member of Shepard’s crew was a hardened warrior and she didn't want to make herself look any less like a soldier than she already did.  Even worse, she and Shepard had only recently expressed their mutual attraction.  The commander deserved to be with someone she could respect, not a frightened little scientist who got sick just from riding in a tank.  Liara rose with as much dignity as she could muster under the circumstances.  “If you will excuse me, Doctor, I am going to lie down.  It is late and I have embarrassed myself enough for one day.”

 

By the next morning, when Shepard came by for one of their increasingly frequent (Liara had noted with some pleasure) talks, the asari’s condition was much improved.  She was working at her desk, reviewing some of her old notes on the Protheans when the door opened and she greeted the commander with a cheerful smile and a warm, “Shepard.  It is nice of you to come by.”

There was equal warmth in the Spectre’s reply.  “Liara.  I wanted to make sure you were feeling better.”

A sudden wariness overcame the archeologist.  “I am well.  Did you think otherwise?”

“You did seem a little queasy in the shuttle.”

“It was nothing,” she replied defensively.

Shepard gave her a bemused look.  “Liara, Doctor Chakwas told me what happened.”

Liara could feel a blush spreading across her face.  “I wish that she had not done that.  I told her that I did not want to trouble you with my problems.”

“Don’t blame her.  As the ship’s doctor, she has to tell me about anything that might impact the performance of my people, and you getting sick on a mission definitely qualifies.”  Shepard reached out and put a hand on Liara’s shoulder.  It was a simple, friendly gesture, but there was a warmth to it, and in spite of her embarrassment, the asari’s heart fluttered at the contact.

“It is kind of you to worry,” Liara said bashfully, “But it is not serious.”

“Hey.”  Shepard sat down in the chair next to Liara, her arm wrapping around her shoulders.  “If something’s wrong with you, it matters to me.  You matter to me.  You know that, right?”

“I do.”  There was such strength and affection in her voice that Liara’s nervousness and shame began to melt away.  Shepard possessed a quality that made everyone feel as if they could confide in her.  Liara had seen it work even on those they had only just met, and she was amazed by the effect that it had on a reclusive scientist.  “It is only, you have shown such faith in me.  I have little military experience and you have trusted me to come with you on these expeditions.  I did not want you to think that I was unworthy of that.”

An affectionate hand rubbed up and down her arm and even through the cloth of her jumpsuit, Liara felt her skin tingling.  “Liara, don’t think that way.  I wouldn’t take you along as a charity project, no matter how I feel about you personally.  Not with the stakes of our mission this high.  I’ve brought you because you’re a hell of a biotic and an asset.  Now, what is exactly is it that’s giving you problems?”

“It is the Mako,” she admitted.  “Sometimes the ride can be a bit jarring.”

Shepard threw her arms up in the air.  “That damn tank!”, she said defensively.  “I know it’s a pain in the ass.  It’s designed entirely for durability, and it handles like a drunken rhino.”

Liara turned away.  Shepard was being so understanding and she didn’t want to criticize her, but she found her courage, deciding that she owed the commander her honesty.  “You are right about the Mako of course, but sometimes it does seem that you relish driving it directly into our enemies.”

Now it was Shepard’s turn to blush.  “I’m sorry, Liara.  I don’t exactly intend to do things like that.  It’s just sometimes, it seems like the most efficient way to take out the enemy.  I mean, given the limitations of the Mako…”

Liara was startled.  She had never seen the Spectre react quite like that.  She was always so self-assured but right now she seemed to be taking the criticism harder that the asari intended.  Reaching out tentatively, she placed her hand over Shepard’s, running her fingers over the pink skin.  The caress was more intimate than she had intended, but every time she was around the commander, her body seemed to react.  Despite her uncertainty, it was something she was very much interested in exploring, but this was hardly the time.

“I should apologize as well.”  She gave Shepard’s hand a squeeze and the human rewarded her with a small smile.  “After all,” Liara pointed out, “You have gotten us back alive from every mission.  And Doctor Chakwas can give me something for my stomach.”

She was happy to see a little humor play behind Shepard’s pale green eyes.  “You’re too kind, Liara.  And I’ll try to drive more carefully in the future.”   Liara nodded gratefully, and Shepard added, “Don’t worry by the way; you’re not the first person to get sick in that tank.  Kaiden didn’t even hold out until we got back to the ship.”


	3. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Saren has been defeated, Liara has to figure out what comes next for her and Shepard.

“It’s hard to believe I’m on a date with the famous Commander Shepard.”

Her lover’s thumb ran along the back of Liara’s hand and Ashara Shepard smiled mischievously at the archeologist. “It shouldn’t be that surprising. I mean, we’ve already done plenty of other things together.”

Liara’s cheeks started to blush a darker shade of blue as she remembered some of those wonderful things. “You’re right, of course,” she agreed quickly, “But there is something different about being out on a date in public. I am not used to the attention.” It was a bright, beautiful day on the Presidium, much of the damage from Saren’s attack already repaired by the Keepers, and as they walked, the asari could feel a multitude of eyes watching them. For the last week, the vids had been filled with nothing but coverage of the battle and especially of the Spectre who had been at the center of it.           

“I guess visiting scenic worlds to shoot at Geth together doesn’t really count as a date,” the commander replied, a warm light shining her in pale green eyes, and the asari started to forget about everyone else who might be watching.

"I suppose not,” Liara said brightly, “But it may be just as well that we waited this long. Dating is not exactly my area of expertise.”

Ashara raised an eyebrow. “Have you even been on a date before?”

The asari looked away from her commander. “Once, years ago, when I was still a student. It… it did not go well at all.” Shepard shot her a quizzical look, and she explained, “I would prefer not to relive all of the details, but suffice to say that it ended with me standing by myself in the parking lot while my date made out with Shira Altrea.”

She appreciated Shepard’s attempt to keep the smile off of her face. “Well, it was her loss,” the Spectre said, leaning over to place a kiss on Liara’s cheek, “Because there is no one I’d rather be on a date with.”

Liara’s blush deepened, but she appreciated Shepard’s words. It was still hard for her to believe that someone as glamorous as the first human Spectre really wanted to be with her but day by day, she was becoming convinced.

           

The trend of people being impressed with her lover continued at the hotel, the salarian clerk there stumbling all over himself to thank the commander while handing them their room cards. Shepard was gracious enough, but Liara could tell that she shared her eagerness to be alone.

When at last the elevator doors closed behind them, Liara leaned over and kissed her girlfriend. “Thank you, Shepard,” she told her, running her hands over the Spectre’s firm shoulders. “You really did not have to rent us this room. I would have been perfectly happy spending our shore leave on the _Normandy_.”

Liara felt a rush of heat as her lover replied by scooping her up in her powerful arms, pushing her up against the mirrored wall of the elevator, and kissing along her neck. “You deserve better than making love on a navy cot,” she laughed. “Besides, these days, I’ve got money to burn. Who knew how many credits there were in selling off salvaged weapons?”

The doors opened and Ashara set her down with a final kiss to the base of her throat. The two of them made their way down the corridor, and Liara tried to distract herself from the urge to peel the rest of Shepard’s clothes off until they were safely in their room. “Soon,” she promised, “I will be able to pay my half of the bills. My mother left behind quite substantial estates.”

“I’m so sorry about that,” Ashara told her, her hand brushing warmly across the asari’s cheek. “I wish I could have found a way to save Benezia.”

“It’s not your fault,” Liara told Shepard as she slid the key card into the room’s door. “We may never know who fired the fatal shot, but it was Sovereign who killed her. That thing destroyed the person she was long before we even landed on Noveria. There was nothing we could have done.”

The Spectre pulled Liara into her arms, bringing her across the threshold into their room. “I appreciate your saying that,” the human told her, “But I still hate to see you in pain.”

“You are very sweet,” the asari responded softly. She dropped her overnight bag, trying to lose herself in Shepard’s arms, but her mind was drifting. She kept thinking about the Benezia who had raised her, the wise, beautiful, Matriarch that her mother had been before she left to join Saren. A tear came to her eye and she pulled away, heading further into the hotel suite.

It was far more spacious than the cramped quarters the archeologist was used to and the bed, with it’s expensive sheets and thick mattress, certainly looked inviting. Still, it was hard to think about sex with what they’d just been discussing and she turned apologetically to the commander. “I’m sorry,” she said bashfully, looking out the window at a lovely view of the Presidium, “Everything is wonderful. I just… I think I may need a moment before I can be in the mood. I suppose I should not have brought up Benezia.”

“Don’t worry.” Shepard tossed off her uniform jacket, leaving the human in a short-sleeved white undershirt, and flopped down on the bed. “We have three days when the galaxy isn’t about to end to spend together. I’m patient.”

“You certainly are.” With all of the time she had made Shepard wait before they made love, Liara had been nervous that the beautiful, worldly Spectre would decide she wasn’t worth the trouble and move on, but she couldn’t have been more wrong. Ashara had been patient, and when Liara was finally ready, the night before Ilos, it had been incredible.

“If you want,” she offered, “We can order some room service or watch a vid.”

“Perhaps later.” Liara kicked off her shoes and joined the Spectre on the bed. “Can you just hold me for now?”

Ashara nodded and Liara slid backwards into her arms. The solid presence of the Spectre enveloped her and she tried to let go of her grief and just be there in the moment with her lover. Behind her, she felt soft kisses along the back of her crest, meant to sooth more than inflame, and she purred softly, starting to relax.

"Can I ask you something?”, Shepard queried her.

"Certainly. Anything,”

"So, you mentioned before going on a date when you were in school. Was it with another asari?”

"It did not turn out to be much of a date, but yes, it was.”

"See, that was my question,” Shepard told her. “Because back on the _Normandy_ , you told me that that kind of relationship was frowned on by your people.”

"It is complicated. Most of us grow up on Thessia, and almost everyone who lives there is an asari. As a result, when we begin to mature and seek out romantic relationships, our first ones are generally with each other. However, when we get older, it is common for us to leave the homeworld and meet members of other species. Like you,” she said, kissing the bare arms wrapped around her chest. “When we are ready to settle down and have children, it is more commonly with them. It helps,” she added with a small laugh, “That asari cannot become pregnant unless we chose to.”

Shepard laughed along with her. “That is convenient. Plenty of humans wish it worked that way for us.”

"Surely you must have technology that allows you to control your reproduction.”

Ashara shrugged. “Of course. But not everyone remembers to use it.”

"I see.” Liara returned to the original question. “At all events, relationships with other asari are common among younger maidens, but they are rarely serious. To pursue one when older, especially one that leads to having daughters, is often viewed as a sign of immaturity. To be sure, there are those who do so anyway, like my mother, but they are the exception.”

"I apologize,” Shepard said, planting another kiss on the back of the archeologist’s head. “I was trying to change the topic and we ended up right back where we started.”

"Don’t worry. It is bound to come up. It may not be for a month or two, but I will have to return to Thessia to settle matters there and claim my inheritance.”

"How long will take?” Behind her, she could feel Ashara pull her arms a little tighter. “I’ll miss you every day until you come back.”

"You want me to return?”, Liara asked tentatively. She’d been trying to avoid thinking about this issue, but now she felt hope rising in her chest. “I was concerned. I am not a member of the Alliance after all, and with the mission to stop Saren over, I didn’t know if it would be appropriate for me to stay on board.”

"Hey.” Shepard nuzzled the back of Liara’s neck, her skin delightfully smooth against the asari’s sensitive crest. “Of course I want you to stay. You were great on this mission, and I’m a Spectre. I can pick my own crew and that starts with you.”

Liara turned in her lover’s arms, catching Ashara’s lips for a long kiss. “I can’t tell you how relieved I am to hear that. With Wrex leaving, I had worried that the rest of us might have to go as well.”

"Don’t be. Wrex had business of his own to take care of, but you and Garrus, and Tali can stay on the _Normandy_ as long as you want to. Hell, maybe I can drop you off on Thessia. All the Council wants me to do now are these stupid sweeps for Geth activity anyway.” She shook her head in frustration. “They’re wasting our time. The Geth are just a symptom of the real problem. It’s the Reapers we have to worry about.”

"I know.” Liara ran her fingers through the human’s blonde hair. “But let’s not worry about that right now. We are on shore leave, after all. There must be more pleasant things we can think about.”

"Mm,” Shepard grinned, starting to maker her way down Liara’s neck, flicking her tongue over the skin. “What did you have in mind?”

"That seems like a good start,” Liara purred, sinking back into the mattress. She’d almost forgotten what a really good bed felt like, and with Shepard’s hands unzipping her jumpsuit and her mouth exploring her skin, her body tingled with delight. Pink lips closed around a hardening blue nipple and Liara moaned softly.

The Spectre kept peeling open her jumpsuit, sliding it off of her shoulders and down Liara’s body. The human’s hands were everywhere with her tongue following close behind. Liara stroked her commander’s hair, trying to encourage her without words. There were so many non-verbal cues involved in making love, and she still had so much to learn. She did know that she liked hair though, silky and easy to run her hands over, and Shepard purred against her skin when she did it.

Pulling the fabric over Liara’s hips, Ashara started kissing along her inner thighs. The asari had worn plain white panties that day due to the lack of anything sexier, a situation she resolved to change after she got back to Thessia. Soon, though, her thoughts were pulled away along with her underwear. Ashara’s breath was warm on her sex, and when her tongue flicked over her clit, the asari’s hips bucked.

"Wait,” she murmured as the human’s tongue started establishing a steady rhythm across her bud, “Don’t you want me to do something for you as well?”

"Not right now. I want to try something.”

Shepard’s fingers were probing inside her, pressing against her front wall and making it hard for Liara to think, but she managed to get out, “What do you mean?”

Shepard smiled like a cat looking at a saucer of cream that she couldn’t wait to lap up. “I want to see if the meld can make me come without any touch at all.”

Liara let out a little whimper at the idea and lay back into the softness of the mattress. Ashara renewed her ministrations and the archeologist gasped. The human was so enthusiastic and Liara was swept up right along with her. Strong hands rubbed her hips, pulling her to Shepard’s mouth as her throbbing clit was bathed in warmth. She was teetering sooner than she expected and clutching at her lover’s head, she reached out with her thoughts, clutching onto Ashara’s mind.

Her pleasure flowed into the human and in return, Liara received a delightful blend of love and desire. She could feel the sharp ache between Ashara’s legs, her enjoyment of the archeologist’s body alone enough to leave her lover soaking wet. The reaction she elicited and the joy Shepard took in pleasing her was all she needed. Her body went stiff, lighting shooting through her as she came.

Through the bond, she felt Shepard hit a peak as well, but initially it was muted by the lack of physical contact. Frantically, Ashara thrust her fingers down her pants, rubbing her own clit, and Liara felt the Spectre’s pleasure sharpen, an extra flood of warmth spilling out of the asari’s sex and into her lover’s mouth in sympathy.

Licking her lips clean, Shepard crawled up alongside Liara, kissing her hungrily. The asari enjoyed her own sweet, taste in her lover’s mouth and as the kiss broke, Ashara mumbled ,“Interesting,” while she pulled off the remnants of her clothes.

"A successful experiment?”, Liara asked playfully while she stroked the commander’s face.

"Definitely. You’ll make a researcher of me yet.” She returned the affectionate gesture, rubbing Liara’s crest. “Now, if you’re not too tired, I wouldn’t mind rerunning some of our earlier tests next.”

"Repetition is the key to good science,” Liara grinned, joy swelling in her breast. Whatever the sorrows of her past, she couldn’t remember a time when she felt she had more to look forward to in her future, starting with the next three days and from there, who knew? She might not have been any good at dating, but she had found something special none the less.


	4. The Sensible Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liara must ponder an offer from Cerberus.

_Please consider my proposal, but do not take too long, as this matter is time-sensitive. I await your reply –Miranda Lawson_

Liara had been starring at the message for the better part of an hour. The rational part of her brain told her to delete it. Ashara Shepard was dead. Liara had watched with horror from the escape pod, tears filling her eyes and a helpless scream on her lips as her lover fell into the Alcheran atmosphere. She’d seen the notification from the Alliance declaring Commander Shepard killed in action. She had even been to a memorial service, though there was nothing to bury.

No, Ashara was gone and even if, somehow, there was a way she could be brought back, this was Cerberus that Liara was considering helping. She had been on the missions that destroyed their instillations, walked through their ruined labs, seen the horrifying experiments they had run. They were terrorists, and they were psychopaths, and even if they could do what they promised, could she really turn Ashara over to them? Surely, the sensible thing to do was to destroy this message and try again to, as acquaintances never tired of advising her, “Get on with her life.”

Except that she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t pretend that the last six months had never happened, couldn’t un-see the terrible things that she’d witnessed. The Reapers were still out there, waiting for the time when they would exterminate the people of this cycle. The asari and all the rest of the races would end up like the Protheans, dead civilizations puzzled over by confused archeologists 50,000 years from now.

After the destruction of the _Normandy_ , the survivors had reasoned, pleaded, and screamed themselves hoarse trying to make the politicians understand that. The Council didn’t want to hear it though. They’d declared Sovereign a Geth dreadnought, the attack on Shepard retaliation for the Battle of the Citadel, and closed the matter.

In the end, the crew had given up in frustration; Tali going back to her people, Ashley reassigned by the Alliance, Garrus vanishing Goddess knew where. Shepard’s team was shattered into pieces, and it was going to take a miracle to bring them back together again.

If politics made Liara’s days frustrating, her nights were even worse, spent choking on a grief that felt like it would never end. She had only known Ashara a few months but in that brief span the human had come to mean more to her than she would ever have thought possible. Ashara had saved her life on Therum, but she had also changed it. Before Liara met her, her eyes had been fixed on the past, on dusty ruins and obscure academic controversies, but Shepard had brought her out of her shell and imparted to the archeologist some of her sense of obligation to the galaxy.

She had also awakened a passion within Liara she had never known was there. Before she’d met Ashara, not only had she never bonded with anyone, she’d never felt a strong desire to do so. Now, the memory of what she'd had and lost haunted her. Their missions, their talks, their few, precious nights together, those had been the best times of her life and now that Ashara was gone, the pain was like nothing the asari had ever felt before. Every time she tried to sleep, she could still hear Shepard’s strong, reassuring voice thick with desire as she said her name, her pale green eyes beaming lovingly at her. At times, her skin could almost feel the warmth of the Specter’s hands running over it, and when the memories would pass, she’d feel empty, like everything good had gone out of her life.

No more. No more sitting in her mother’s empty house on Thessia, watching the news lie about the cause that she and her beloved had fought for. No more crying herself to sleep at night. She didn’t want to live this way, and the galaxy couldn’t afford it. Ever since the attack on the _Normandy_ , she had felt helpless, like events were spinning out of control and that there was nothing she could do to stop that. Now, she had been given a chance, and even if it’s a desperate one, she had to take it. She’d never thought of herself as a hero, but Shepard never gave up on her mission no matter how grim things had looked and the Liara would not be faithful to her lover if she quit now. As she hit the reply button on her terminal, a charge of energy ran through her. At last, she was doing something, even if it wasn’t the sensible thing.

_Ms. Lawson, I accept your terms. Send details immediately –Liara T’Soni_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have not read the ME comics and do not consider anything outside of the games to be canon.


	5. Planning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liara recovers Shepard's body and incurs a debt to Feron.

Liara had always believed in planning. Thesis plans, lunch plans, plans for an expedition: she was the sort of careful, studious asari who tried to game out her actions and their likely consequences in advance of doing anything, especially anything likely to get her killed. Of course, ever since she’d met Ashara Shepard, very little in her life had gone according to plan, and her attempt to recover her lover’s body had proven to be no exception.

With Cerberus’ help, she had tracked the Blue Suns responsible for taking it to a dock on Illium, but once there, the situation had gotten very un-planned very quickly. Though most of the body-snatchers were dead, so were the two mercenaries she’d hired for additional muscle and the Drell information dealer, Feron, who Cerberus had put her in contact with had disappeared during the firefight.

A batarian and a human on her left, another human on her right. Not the greatest odds, but she’d certainly faced worse during the hunt for Saren. Without warning, she rolled out from behind the metal crates that she’d been using as a shield and swiftly dashed to the crane the human on the right had found shelter near. He and his comrades were taken off-guard; with her back-up killed or missing, they had expected that she’d retreat, not go on the offensive. It wasn’t an option though; Liara knew that if she let them get the cryonic pod containing Ashara’s body on their shuttle, any hope of saving her would be lost forever.

The human barely had time to swivel his assault rifle towards her before she caught him with a blast of biotic energy. His shields buckled, and while he staggered backwards, she shot him three times at point-blank range, ducking out of the way of his falling body and behind the crane as the other two mercenaries recovered from their surprise sufficiently to open fire on her.

Once they realized they had no clear shot at her current location, she heard their foot-steps moving in opposite directions, attempting to flank her. Silently, she thanked Ashara for all that the Specter had taught her. Before she joined the crew of the Normandy, she’d survived a few dangerous situations thanks to her powerful biotics, but she hadn’t been a soldier and wouldn’t have been prepared to deal with this attack.

Now, though, she knew what to do next. With a gesture, a singularity flew out of her hand and expanded off to her right, blocking the approach route of the batarian while Liara moved quickly to the left. The second human was expecting her to attack as he rounded the nearby stack of boxes, but he didn’t realize how strong her barriers were. The first two shots from his pistol failed to breach them and he didn’t get to make another attempt. Liara’s return fire dropped his shields and before he could retreat behind cover, her biotics had him, lifting him up in the air and slamming his body to the ground. Once, the sickening crunch his neck made as it snapped at an unnatural angle would have startled her, but after all that she’d been through, she barely paid it any attention beyond noting that he was definitely dead.

The last of the Blue Suns had struggled his way around the singularity by then, but he was still wobbly from it’s aftereffects and the blast from his shotgun only grazed her barrier. Back-pedaling quickly, firing as she went, Liara bought herself time to recover her mental energy and by the time the batarian had found his footing sufficiently to come at her, she was ready for him. She broke his off-balance charge with a powerful thrust of biotic force to his chest, hurling him off his feet and crushing his ribs.

Breathing hard, Liara raced over to kneel next to the fallen mercenary. “Who paid you to do this?”, she demanded. “Who wants Shepard?” It was no use, but though the batarian was already dead, when Liara started to rise, her question was answered by a voice coming from behind her.

“Stay right where you are, Doctor T’Soni. You try to raise those barriers and I’ll have to pull this trigger.”

“Feron? What are you doing?”

“My job. The Shadow Broker has had quite enough of your interference in this matter.”

“The Shadow Broker?” She felt like an idiot, stumbling around in the dark. “What does he want with Shepard?”

“What does it matter? Now, I like you, Doctor, so I’m going to give you a chance to walk away from this. Just get up and leave, and when my associates get here, I’ll tell them that you got away.”

“I cannot do that. You know what Shepard means, how important she is to the galaxy.”

“I know that you’re a lovesick asari who can’t let her dead girlfriend go. Everything else is probably bullshit.”

“No. It. Is. Not.” There was a cold fury in her voice, an anger born of betrayal and seemingly endless disbelief that startled the drell. For just a moment, he hesitated, the gun wavering in his hand, and that’s all the time she needed. Liara’s biotic powers enveloped her and before Feron could react, a burst of energy knocked the pistol from his hand and slammed him into a wall.

“You think that this is a fantasy? That I am just a grieving maiden? Allow me to show you otherwise. Embrace eternity!”

Her hand pressed against his scaled forehead and the information dealer was too stunned to refuse, allowing her to initiate a shallow meld, just enough to share with him a few of the memories that haunted her dreams. The death-agonies of the Protheans. The horrible, metallic voice of Sovereign declaring their imminent destruction. Matriarch Benezia collapsing under the power of the indoctrination. The Normandy being ripped apart by what Cerberus had since told Liara was a Collector attack.

“That is what we are facing,” she told him after she withdrew her thoughts. Her voice softened slightly as she could see the shock and dismay written on his face. “That is what we need her to fight.”

“Goddess!” Feron gasped. “I didn’t know... I, for few lousy credits, I almost… The Collectors… the Broker’s doing this for a huge bounty, it must be from them.”

Outside the dock, Liara heard the heavy sound of many boots slamming against the metal floor. “Who is that?”

“My backup. More of the Shadow Broker’s men, a dozen at least. Even dead, taking a Specter could bring a lot of heat, so I was supposed to observe you and only call them in if the Blue Suns failed.”

“We have to get Shepard onto the shuttle.”

“There’s not enough time. You do it, I’ll distract them.”

“But you will be…”

“There’s no other way. I brought them here, I need to make it right.”

“Thank you.” She wished that there was more she could say in that moment, but under the circumstances, it would have to do.

Liara rushed back to the shuttle and the nearby cryonic pod while Feron made his way to the dock entrance. As she lifted the unit with a biotic field and pushed it up the gangplank, she could hear the drell spinning a story about how Liara had escaped the hanger and doubled back into the city. She wasn’t sure if they believed him but when they checked near the ship and found Shepard gone, they would know he was lying so she wasted no time rushing on-board and firing up the engines. As she began to lift off, the Broker’s forces realized they’d been deceived, opening fire on her with everything they had. It wasn’t enough to stop her escape, but Liara could feel the ship shaking with the impact of the blasts, and she knew that staying and hoping that Feron could somehow make it out with her was not an option. Right now, all she could do was leave, make a promise to herself that the Broker would pay for what he’d done, and pray that Feron’s sacrifice wouldn’t be in vain.


	6. A "Little Wing" and a Prayer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liara hands Shepard's body over to Cerberus.

Before Liara had retrieved Shepard’s body on Illium, a small part of her had been clinging to the possibility that she wouldn’t have to do this. Maybe, just maybe, whatever the commander’s injuries might be, conventional, if extensive, medical treatment would be sufficient to revive her.

That fantasy had lasted exactly as long as it took Liara to look inside the stasis pod. What she saw there had almost made her vomit. Most of Shepard’s body was barely recognizable and certainly not alive, her skin blackened and burned, her chest still, but what had made it truly terrible was her head. Though her beautiful features had been marred by cuts and much of her dirty blonde hair was gone, the face atop what seemed like it must be a corpse still clearly belonged to the woman Liara loved.

It was an image that the asari couldn’t get out of her head, but though it filled her with horror, it also meant that she couldn’t give up hope despite how bad Shepard looked. If the head was largely intact, if the brain had not been too badly damaged, then perhaps something could still be done and that chance was why she was standing on a small landing pad on Ferris Fields, anxiously gazing up at the sky, while she prepared herself to do something that she very badly did not want to have to do.

She didn’t need to wait long. A few minutes after she’d arrived, a second shuttle, larger, sleeker, and far deadlier than the civilian craft she’d appropriated from the Blue Suns landed 20 meters or so away from the archeologist, and as four Cerberus troopers disembarked clad in combat armor and carrying assault rifles, Liara suddenly felt very outgunned. Of course, she realized sadly, there was no reason for them to try to kill her. There was no trade to be made here, nothing for her to be cheated out of. She would hand Ashara over to them, and all that she would get in exchange was a tiny sliver of hope.

The human woman who followed the soldiers off of the shuttle was superficially similar to Shepard despite her darker hair: tall, self-assured, and beautiful, she was striking in a way that reminded Liara a little bit of her fallen lover. However, while the commander had been confidant, this woman seemed to go beyond that into arrogance, and when she spoke, her voice was devoid of the compassion that Ashara’s had possessed.

“Doctor T’Soni. I’m Miranda Lawson. I see,” she said, glancing over at the cryonic pod, “you’ve brought the package.”

The package. The cold, impersonal way tone behind the woman’s words sent a shiver through Liara at the thought of handing her beloved over to her but she controlled her disgust and kept her voice level and professional.

“Yes, your information was adequate. However, the Shadow Broker was trying to recover Shepard as well; I believe he wanted the reward offered by the Collectors. You should be aware of that in case he makes another attempt.”

“Duly noted. We’ll be prepared. I trust you didn’t have too much difficulty dealing with his forces?”

“It was nothing I was not capable of handling.” Though she was grieving over Feron’s sacrifice, she would not share her pain with this terrorist.

“Very well, then.” Miranda nodded to the guards, who moved towards Liara. The asari realized that as they’d been speaking, she had placed a hand on the pod in an unconscious protective gesture, but as the soldiers approached, she forced herself to break the contact. When the unit containing Shepard’s body was carried towards the Cerberus shuttle, Liara found it hard to look away. Ashara was leaving, and she had no choice but to let it happen.

She was snapped out of her distracted state by the sharp voice of the operative. “I believe that concludes your involvement in this matter, Doctor, unless there’s something else I’m not aware of.”

Liara found herself conflicted. A part of her wanted to plead with Miranda to be allowed to come with her, to stay close to her lover no matter where the journey might take them. She imagined Ashara being brought to a lab likes the ones they’d destroyed on Binthu, and she desperately wanted to go with her, to not have her be alone when she woke up in such a horrible place.

A different part wanted to threaten Miranda, to warn the woman that if Cerberus was secretly after the Collector bounty as well, or did some other, terrible thing to Shepard, then she would make them suffer for it. That somehow, no matter what it took, she would find them and exact retribution if they betrayed the faith the asari was now putting in an organization she had every reason to distrust.

And yet, she knew that there would be no point in saying those things. Cerberus would never agree to take her along, and even if they did, she still had work to do. As for the warning, this Miranda Lawson clearly wouldn’t be intimated by one angry asari maiden, even if, Liara thought to herself, she should be. Cerberus’ intentions wouldn’t be changed by her threats and giving voice to them when she was in no position to back them up would only create further complications.

Taking a breath, she fought down the urges and replied with all the calm dignity she could muster. “No, that is all, Ms. Lawson. Take good care of her, though. She is extremely precious to the galaxy.” And to me, she added silently.

“Do you think we would be doing this if we weren’t aware of how important she is to the human race? You needn’t worry, she’s in the best of hands.”

Liara very much doubted that, and as she watched the Cerberus shuttle disappear into the distance, the worry and grief that the mission had pushed aside began to resurface. Back on board her ship, she picked up the jagged ruins of a chest plate that she had found after she hijacked the shuttle back on Illium. At first, she’d been ready to throw it away, but when she’d turned it over, she’d realized that it was Shepard’s armor, emblazoned with the familiar N-7 insignia. The ship’s logs indicated that it had been taken off of Ashara’s body when she was placed in the cryonic pod by the scavengers who’d initially found her and then was sent to the Blue Suns as proof that they really had Shepard. Now, it was all that she had left of the Specter, and as Liara traced her blue fingers across it’s hard surface, she whispered, “Be strong, love. Come back to me.”

She would have to be strong too. Despite the fact that the mission was over, she could not go back to just waiting for the end of the galaxy to arrive. Though she might not be able to stop the Reaper’s return by herself, she could at least track down the Shadow Broker and determine his connection to the Collectors. After all, she thought, brushing away a tear, when Shepard woke up, it wouldn’t do for Liara to tell her that she’d just been sitting around crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I couldn't resist the terrible pun.


	7. A Thousand Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liara waits for Shepard on Ilium.

When the call came, it wasn’t the way she’d imagined it. There was no grand moment, no dramatic revelation, just her at her desk leafing through an endless series of intelligence reports and Nyxeris’ pleasant voice breaking in over her terminal.

“Doctor T’Soni. You told me to inform you if there were any further updates regarding the _Normandy_ so I thought you’d like to know that it’s scheduled to dock at Nos Astra in approximately half an hour.”

In an instant, the reports vanished from Liara’s thoughts. Once, the news would probably have robbed her of the ability to speak coherently, but two years of keeping her feelings at bay while she worked had disciplined her and her voice stayed calm when she replied, “Thank you, Nyxeris. Please arrange for the docking fees to be paid on their behalf, and make sure that the customs agent who informs their landing party of this also lets them know that I would like to see them at their convenience.”

“Of course, Doctor.”

Once Liara terminated the connection, a flood of different emotions begun to compete for space in her brain. Hope and fear, joy and uncertainty all hit her at once as she realized that, though she’d dreamed about this day for two years, she still wasn’t certain what to she was going to do now that it had arrived.

After she had first given Ashara’s body to Miranda Lawson, Liara had been left without the slightest clue as to what might be happening to her beloved, but as her resources and contacts had grown, she’d been able to see glimpses. The Illusive Man, as the leader of Cerberus apparently called himself, guarded his secrets well, but she’d managed to discover that around the same time Liara had recovered Shepard, he’d started pouring huge sums of money into a top secret research project. She hadn’t been able to learn anything definitive about it’s purpose, but given that some of the funds had been spent hiring doctors and making investments in bleeding-edge medical technologies, she had her suspicions and she’d been encouraged by the fact that this spending had continued for two years, the research apparently being considered promising enough for billions of credits to be poured into it.

Then, a little over a month ago, the expenditures had suddenly ceased and before Liara could spend too much time hoping or worrying about what that meant, a new series of rumors had started to cross her desk. A ship that resembled the original _Normandy_ had been spotted in the Terminus Systems. The prison ship Purgatory had been destroyed by an unidentified team of commandos, some of whom might have been wearing N-7 armor. A woman who resembled Ashara had been seeing talking to Aria T’Loak on Omega.

Each time Liara heard one of these stories, her heart leapt a little, but it wasn’t until after the attack on Horizon that she got more solid information. A source had reported that a woman who identified herself as Commander Shepard had driven away the Collectors before being seen arguing with Lt. Ashley Williams of the Alliance, who had been at the colony on special assignment.

When Liara had read that, she had desperately wanted it to be true, to let herself believe that Ashara was really alive. All that her heart desired in that moment was to find a way to get a message to the _Normandy_ , to beg Shepard to come to Illium so that they could be together again. Her head wasn’t as sure what to think. The nightmare image of her girlfriend’s burnt body had tormented her, and it was hard to believe that what came back from that could really be her Ashara. Could Cerberus have spent two years growing and training a clone instead, or a programming a VI facsimile to run inside the shell of the woman she’d loved?

Even if it really was her, Liara wasn’t the shy archeologist the commander had fallen in love with anymore. Despite the fact that before she’d met Shepard, she had killed in self-defense while on expeditions, two years of burying her love, her grief, and her uncertainty while waging a secret war with the Shadow Broker had made her harder and more ruthless than she’d ever imagined being. She was terrified that she’d see Ashara again only to discover that the commander no longer wanted the person Liara had become.

Nor were those the only questions she had. Did Ashara know Liara was the one who had given her to Cerberus? Would she be angry if she found out? Was she even on Illium to see Liara at all or had some other business brought her here by chance? There were a thousand of these mysteries rattling around in her brain, but as she tried to puzzle out even one or two answers, she was interrupted by the aggravating beeping noise her terminal refused to stop making.

When she answered the call, Cormack Keller’s hologram flickered into existence. A wealthy, if somewhat disreputable, businessman who operated on Illium, she’d sold him the location of a gang of salarians who’d stolen his company’s prototype decryption machine. It was good money, but he’d only given her half up-front, with the other half to be paid when his security people found the thieves.

“Mr. Keller. I trust that my information was good,” she asked curtly.

Her nervous mood was not improved by his reply. “In a way, Doctor T’Soni,” didn’t make it sound like this would be the smooth transaction she needed right now.

“Were the culprits at the apartment you were told you would find them in?”

“They were, but by the time we got there, they had already fenced the machine to a competitor of mine.”

“I am sorry to hear that but it is not relevant to our business. The deal was for the location of the salarians, whom you found.”

“Yes, but since I’m still out the money for the prototype, I’m afraid I won’t be able to pay you the other half of your fee.”

Her mind angrily flashed back to something her mother had once said. It was perhaps not the most politic thing to repeat here, but in her current state of mind, she had no intention of being cheated by this crooked executive.

“Mr. Keller, I am finished arguing with you. Have you faced an asari commando unit before? Few humans have. I’ll make it simple. Either you pay me, or I flay you alive. With my mind.”

It was just as she finished her threat that she heard the footsteps behind her, and when she turned around, what she saw made her pay no attention to either Keller’s frightened nod or his image vanishing behind her.

“Shepard! Nyxeris, hold my calls.”

The woman standing in front of her certainly seemed like Shepard. It wasn’t her looks that convinced Liara; though the beautiful face staring back was just as she remembered it, the scars gone, the blonde hair regrown, Cerberus could have cloned that. No, it was the littler things: the confidence in her bearing and the warmth in her pale green eyes that started to melt away Liara’s doubts and fears. All of the words she’d considered saying were set aside as she silently took the human’s hands in her own and when she felt the reassuring firmness of her grip and the soft touch of their lips pressing together, she somehow knew beyond any doubt that this was Ashara Shepard. There were still a thousand questions that they’d have to answer but in that moment, that single fact was all that mattered to her.


	8. Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An extension of Liara and Shepard's reunion after defeating the Shadow Broker.

“So tell me what you want. If this all ends tomorrow, what happens to us?”

She’d avoided asking the question for days now, ever since Shepard had walked into her office on Illium. At first, she’d been afraid of how she might react to Ashara’s answer, no matter what it was. Neither the pain of rejection nor the desire to lose herself in the human’s arms were what she’d needed then, not when she was so close to finding the Shadow Broker.

As of this afternoon, the Broker was no longer an issue, but though she and Ashara had vanquished her enemy, doubt was still holding Liara back. It wasn’t attraction that was the problem: the kisses they’d shared after the battle ended had been electric, and when Shepard had joked about enjoying the last time Liara put pressure on her, flutters of remembered pleasure had run through the asari’s whole being. Standing in the commander’s impressively spacious cabin, looking at Ashara’s toned body on display in the little black dress the human had worn for their date, Liara wanted more than anything to touch and be touched by her again.

And yet, she still wasn’t certain that they were going to be together again. The pain of losing her lover two years ago, the knowledge that tomorrow Shepard would return to saving the galaxy and she would have to figure out how to be the new Shadow Broker, all of it had been making it hard for her to figure out where she stood with the commander. At last though, the sense of urgency that came from not knowing when she would get another chance like this to talk with Ashara had convinced Liara that she had to ask.

“I don’t know. Marriage, old age, and a lot of little blue children?”

In spite of the tension she was feeling, a smile broke out across Liara’s face. All of her agonizing and Shepard had made it sound so simple. She gave the human a playful shove as she replied, “You just say these things.”

She too wanted it to be that easy, but as the truth underneath Shepard’s joke sunk in, that Ashara really did want to be with her again, all of her buried emotions started breaking through to the surface. Overwhelmed, she retreated towards one of the large windows, tears starting to well up in her blue eyes as she gave voice to the pain she’d been carrying.

“Goddess. You were dead”

She could hear Shepard’s footsteps following behind her, her voice comforting. “I got better.”

Liara turned, wrapping her arms around Ashara, their embrace reinforcing that the human really had come back and the fact that she was here, now, offering her heart to Liara was almost beyond belief. And yet the information broker turned away again, staring out into space, trying to articulate the fear that was still holding her back from giving in to her desire for Shepard.

“This time. But you’re going to leave again. When your team is ready, you’ll leap through the Omega 4 Relay. I spent two years mourning you, so if we’re going to try this, I need to know you’re always coming back.”

No sooner had the words left the new Shadow Broker’s mouth than she realized what a ridiculous thing she had just asked Shepard to guarantee. There were no certainties, not with the Collectors and the Reapers coming for all of them, but right now, the woman she’d missed for so long was standing in front of her, asking Liara to be her lover again, and she would have to be a fool to turn away from that.

Before the asari could take back her condition though, Shepard showed her the respect of not lying to her, trying instead to lighten the mood.

“I don’t know. It’s a pretty big promise to make,” she teased.

“Oh, is it,” Liara laughed back. Her decision made, she felt as if a weight had been lifted from her chest and all she wanted right now was to enjoy the little time they had tonight.

Ashara pulled her closer then, and as she whispered huskily against the asari’s neck, “I’d have to have something special to come back to,” Liara could feel a rush of heat filling her body, the stirring of a dormant passion.

Running a hand through Ashara’s hair, she purred back, “I’m open to suggestions,” her sultry expression leaving no doubt as to what kind she had in mind.

When Shepard breathed, “How about… this” and Liara felt a strong hand run over her backside and up her spine, she gasped, her head tilting backwards with desire, her eyes darkening slightly. The speed of her arousal shocked her. Since Shepard died, she hadn’t touched anyone else; indeed she had barely touched herself, the pain of the memories it evoked spoiling any enjoyment she might have gotten from the act, but now all of that repressed craving started to flood to the surface.

She kissed Shepard hard, and when their embrace broke, her whispered reply was playful but full of arousal. “I think that seems like it might be an excellent idea, but I would need to know more.”

With that encouragement, Shepard’s hands went to Liara’s red and blue dress, deftly unzipping the garment and sliding it off of her shoulders. As she stood there, now clad only in a pair of lacy white underwear, the desire in Ashara’s gaze was enough to make her tremble slightly with excited anticipation.

“God, you’re beautiful, Liara,” Shepard said in a low voice, her tone almost reverent. “I missed… every inch of you.” Ashara let her actions mirror her words, her strong hands caressing each spot on the scientist as she described it. “I missed the curve of your hips. I missed the way your nipples harden when I brush my thumbs against them. I missed the line of your neck…” Liara could fell herself becoming more and more flushed, and when a warm tongue slid over the sensitive folds of her crest, the surge of wanting nearly caused her to fall as her knees buckled underneath her.

Liara staggered backwards towards the bed and Shepard followed, pausing only for a moment to pull off her own dress before lying down next to the asari. Looking at Ashara’s pale skin, Liara’s breath caught in her throat for an instant, almost unable to believe that the body she had seen in that stasis pod could have been restored to this.

Before she could become too lost in her thoughts however, the weight of her lover moving up against her brought her back to the present. There’s an urgency in the kisses Shepard presses on her, a degree of intensity she’d never felt before, not before Ilos nor in any of the times they’d made love after Sovereign had been destroyed but before the Normandy was lost.

“Meld with me.” Ashara’s words and the strain in her voice as she said them surprised Liara. In the past, she had usually been the one to request the joining. The sharing of thoughts and sensations was pleasurable for her human lover, but it wasn’t native to her and so it wasn’t something that she normally ached for in this way.

“Embrace eternity.” As her eyes went black and their minds came together, the two years they had lost seemed to melt away in their familiar mental embrace, but though the love and strength that Liara had always seen in the Specter were still there, alongside them she felt a loneliness, receding, but still present, and speaking without words, she tried to reassure her lover.

“I am here, Ashara.”

“I know. I love you and it means so much that you still love me too.”

“I never stopped. Never. I was only afraid that it would not work anymore, that you would not want me back.”

“Liara, why wouldn’t I?”

“I… so much happened to me. I am not the same person…”

“You’re so strong.” Liara could feel pride shining in Ashara’s thoughts. “I know it’s been hard but what you did today was incredible and I’ve never wanted to be with you more than I do now.”

“Show me.”

Shepard needed no further urging and Liara gasped as the human’s mouth closed around her breast, her tongue pressing against the stiff nipple. She felt the earlier heat rising again, hotter than before, reinforced by the pleasure Ashara took in touching her. As her lover’s hands caressed her skin, the asari reached down, sliding off first her own panties and then starting to remove Shepard’s black ones, wanting there to be nothing separating them.

As Shepard paused to finish kicking off her underwear, Liara took the initiative, running her tongue up the commander’s neck and over her earlobe. It was always intriguing experiencing the echo of her ministrations there through the bond; asari didn’t have external ears, and she’d been delighted the first time she’d discovered for herself how sensitive they were.

“I know how you feel.” Hearing her thoughts, Shepard had turned her attentions to Liara’s crest, a similarly asymmetric erogenous zone, and as her fingers traced between the folds, the information broker felt the throbbing between her legs start to become acute.

Ashara sensed it too, her free hand moving to Liara’s core, and when her girlfriend’s digits traced along the dark blue scales there, the asari’s cry of pleasure was so loud it surprised both of them. She’d missed this so badly and all she wanted to do was lose herself in the feeling of Shepard’s touch on her most intimate places.

The commander was more than happy to accommodate her, her nimble fingers delving inside the scientist, finding her incredibly ready. Liara could sense Ashara sharing her pleasure, savoring the heat of her lover surrounding her, but she could also feel aching need from the Specter, it’s intensity mirroring the asari’s, and she slid her hand down the commander’s stomach, brushing through the silky hair above her sex and over her inner lips. Even before she entered her, Liara could feel how wet she was, and when two of her digits curled into Ashara, the slick tightness around her and the commander’s relief at feeling Liara inside her made the asari’s body grip tighter around Shepard’s fingers in response.

“I feel whole.” The thought started in Ashara, but Liara finished it, her earlier doubts banished, replaced by acceptance, happiness, and the certainty that she was precisely where she should be, that nothing could be more right than having Shepard in her heart, in her life, and in her.

Ashara’s hips started to push against her hand, longing for more, and Liara responded, moving her fingers at first slowly, but then more forcefully as Shepard reciprocated, their rhythm flowing naturally from their bond. When Shepard’s fingers slid out of her to find her swollen bud, coating it in the asari’s wetness as Ashara caressed the throbbing nub, Liara could feel herself pushing towards to the edge. She pressed her palm against the commander’s clitoris, and as her lover ground against her hand, the delicious friction it produced drove both of them closer still.

The sensations they were feeling started to run together, Liara’s mind filling with pleasures both given and received: a tongue running along an arched neck, fingers thrusting back inside while a thumb replaced them on the most sensitive point, breasts pressed against sweaty skin, “I love you,” whispered back and forth… when the orgasm erupted from within them, Liara couldn’t even tell where it started, their bliss seeming to be perfectly shared.

For how long she couldn’t tell they kept moving within and against each other, their repeated peaks blending together. Every time one them started to come down, the other’s ecstasy drove them higher again and even when, at last, Liara withdrew her sticky fingers from her lover, she couldn’t resist pressing them against Shepard’s still-trembling clit, drawing a final, gasping aftershock from the human.

“Jesus, Liara,” Ashara breathed as the ability to speak normally started to return. “I’d say you have no idea how badly I need that, but…”

“I did too.” Liara brought first one and then another slim finger up to her lips, sucking on them gently, and when she heard the hitch in Shepard’s breathing, she whispered, “I missed your taste.”

“In that case,” Ashara smiled tantalizing back at her, “I have another suggestion to make.”

“Goddess, yes,” Liara purred, and as Shepard’s tongue started to lick down her body while the Specter shifted to allow Liara to do the same to her, a happy thrill ran through the archeologist. If, for now, they only had this one night, she was immeasurably glad that they were making the most of it.


	9. Waiting and Anticipation

_“My beloved Liara,”_ the letter began, and immediately she knew who the message was from.  No one else would address her that way, especially not someone writing on the secure channel normally used for Shadow Broker operatives to report.

“ _It’s time.  Tomorrow morning, we’ll be going through the Omega 4 Relay and though I have great deal to do before then, I needed to let you know.  I realize that we’d talked about my coming to see you first, but there just isn’t time.  The Collectors hit the Normandy when the squad and I were away.  They got everyone but Joker, and I have to go and get them back.  Miranda says we should wait, but this is my crew and my responsibility.”_

“ _The last time we were together, I tried not to make any promises I couldn’t keep, but I can promise you this: I will fight with everything have to make it back to you and no matter what happens, I will always love you.  The night that we spent together made me feel more alive than I have in two years, and I don’t have the words to thank you enough for that.  Be strong and hopefully, I will see you soon.”_

_Love,_

_Ashara_

She closed the message, wiping away a tear with her gloved hand.  She knew that this day was coming, but she had thought there would be a little bit more time before it did, had hoped that perhaps she would have one more night to show the woman she loved how much she meant to her.

Desperately, hopelessly, she wished that she could be there alongside Ashara.  Intellectually, she knew why it made more sense for her to remain where she was.  Though she was a powerful biotic and a competent fighter, Shepard had plenty of those on her team.  Liara’s greatest value to her love and to their cause was as the Shadow Broker.  The intelligence she had access to, the resources she could mobilize, the tools at her command to move the governments of the galaxy: all of that would be sorely needed in the dark days to come.

If something were to go wrong, if Ashara did not come back, then it would fall to Liara to prepare the galaxy as best she could for the coming Reaper invasion and she could hardly do that if she died alongside the commander.  And yet, that sensible precaution filled Liara with dread.  The prospect of being left alone, bereft of love, to rally a galaxy in the service of a cause that might well be hopeless was a black prospect she could barely stand to contemplate.

To stave off the fear, she attempted to work.  She buried herself in intelligence reports.  She arranged for the Alliance to “accidentally” discover a pirate base in the Attican Traverse.  She threatened a crooked turian politician with the exposure of his affair with a general’s wife to secure his support for increased fighter production.  She held up the delivery of weapons to Blood Pack mercenaries who had been raiding hanar shipping.

Eventually, fatigue started to set in, but she did not even attempt sleep, knowing that it was hopeless.  She did make an effort to eat something, but in spite of her hunger, she found that after only a few bites of her noodles, she was doing little but pushing them around her plate.  Feron checked in once, at first simply wanting to give her a report, then concerned about her demeanor, but she sent him away. As much as she didn’t want to be left alone with her thoughts, pretending conversation was beyond her at that moment.

Part of what scared her was that if Ashara failed, she would simply disappear into silence.  No ship would come back from beyond the Omega 4 Relay and no word of her love’s death would ever reach her, even her vast network being useless to bring her the one piece of information she craved more than any other.  Instead, Liara would simply sit here as despair set in, as every day a bit more of her heart died.  No.  She could not think like that.  Shepard was strong, the strongest person she had ever known.  If anyone could do this, if there was any way, she would find it.

The hours ticked by slowly, and more and more the files in front of her started to blur together.  Corruption, greed, violence… the bread and butter of the Shadow Broker’s trade, one sorry tale after another.  Was that all her life was going to be?  A never ending saga of…

“Shadow Broker.”

The info-drone’s voice cut through the haze of worry and self-pity.  “What is it?”

“You have a call from the _Normandy_ SR-2.  Would you like to answer it?”

 _Please let this mean what I think it does_.  “Yes.  Immediately,” she stammered out.

She heard it before she saw it.  Even while the image on her screen was still coming into focus, Shepard’s strong voice filled her ears, banishing her doubts and fears.  “Liara.  It’s me.”

“Ashara.”  Relief filled her whole being, the agony of the last day turning into merely a bad dream that she was now waking from.  “Thank the Goddess.  Are you all right?”

Then the picture stabilized and Liara could see that she was.  Standing in the comm room of the _Normandy_ , Ashara not only appeared unharmed aside from a few small scrapes and cuts, but triumphant.  The asari’s heart soared higher with every word she heard, pride in the woman she loved filling her being. “I’m fine.  We did it, Liara.  We destroyed the Collector’s home base, and everyone made it out okay.  The crew, the squad, they’re all safe.”

For an instant, her joy was tempered by a flash of shame.  How could she have doubted Shepard like that, after all of the remarkable things she had seen her do?  Before she could dwell on it any further though, Ashara continued.  “Now that it’s over, if you have the time, I’d like to come by.  I believe that I still owe you a visit.”

“And you are owed a celebration.”  She wasn't sure how much time she really had, but she would make it.

Ashara beams at her.  “Great.  We’ll be there in a day or so.  There’s a lot more to tell, but I think it would be better to do it in person.”

“Of course.  I will be waiting.”

That waiting was of a very different kind than the agony of the past day.  The knot in her gut had been replaced with a thrill of anticipation.  Her appetite restored, Liara wolfed down what remained of her food and headed for her shower.  When she remembered to care, she sometimes worried about what this job was doing to her personal habits.  Isolation made it all too easy to be indifferent to how she presented herself, but Ashara’s impending visit had reminded her of such concerns.

The shower itself was huge; a rare luxury on a ship mostly notable for its austerity in spite of the wealth of its past owners.  She supposed the yagh must have modified it in order to accommodate his massive bulk.  Goddess, that thing had been huge.  Watching Shepard rush in, pummeling the Broker in close combat had been quite something.  Remembering her lover’s gallantry, Liara felt a thrum of desire in her body.  She ran her hands over her wet blue skin, and heat filled her.  Too often, she’d been deprived not only of Shepard’s presence, but even of the ability to remember better times without the pain of loss or the fear of the future.

Right then however, the memory of victory to say nothing of the night that followed it, was exciting her.  When she brushed a finger over her clit, her body trembled and her first thought was to continue.  Taking the edge off of her arousal would let her sleep more easily, but she restrained herself.  She wanted to save that energy for when Ashara arrived and until then, she would make do.

She managed to get a little rest, sheer exhaustion overcoming her eager anticipation, and when she woke, she threw herself back into work.  She suspected that she might not have too much time with Ashara, and she wanted to make certain they could spend it free of distractions.  She finished what she could and postponed what she couldn’t, re-scheduling the check-ins from her operatives away from the next couple of days.  The sheer volume of issues that this job brought to her attention could be overwhelming sometimes.  She had always been meticulous, focusing on a particular task and completing it before moving on, but as the Shadow Broker she was forced to leave a great deal undone no matter how hard she worked.  She was trying to decide whether to worry about commercial espionage on Sur’kesh or new VI experiments on Illium when the sound of booted footsteps stirred her attention.

“Shepard!  It’s so good to see you.”  And indeed it was.  Even more so than on their call, Ashara seemed full of life, happy, as if a massive weight had been lifted from her.  Liara barely had time to stand up from her desk chair before Shepard had crossed the space between them, her arms pulling Liara in, her beauty, her scent filling the asari’s senses.  Ashara kissed her hard, her lips firm against Liara’s while her tongue moved into her mouth, and she felt herself tremble with wanting.  Shepard’s hands were moving all over her, and as she breathed huskily, “It is very good to see you too, Shadow Broker,” Liara remembered the last time she had seen her this way.

Their first night together before Ilos had been gentle bliss, soft and sweet, and exactly what a shy archeologist had needed to feel comfortable.  Their second night though…  It had been a day after the Battle of the Citadel, and flush with victory, Ashara had been a storm.  Her passion was infectious and overwhelming, and their love-making had left both of them happily drained on the narrow bed in her quarters, sleeping until nearly noon the next day.

Shepard’s fingers working at the buttons and zippers of her white coat pulled Liara back to reality.  “Wait,” she forced herself to say, “Not here.”

“Why not?”  Ashara laughed, her fingers caressing the folds of Liara’s crest.  “I know the yagh broke the last desk, but the one you replaced it with looks somewhat sturdier.”

Her voiced wavered.  “Too many interruptions.  And Feron could walk in.”

“Fine.  Where?”  Ashara sounded slightly disappointed and indeed the idea of her lover taking her on top of her desk had a certain appeal to Liara, but she gestured in the direction of an exit.

“There.  My room.”

They staggered towards the doorway in each other’s arms, unwilling to relinquish physical contact, and Shepard informed her with a grin, “I quit Cerberus, Liara.  After the mission, I told the Illusive Man just where he could shove his orders and took his ship and his crew for good measure.”

“You seem quite pleased with that decision.”  They tumbled across the threshold and Ashara resumed removing the asari’s jacket as the door closed behind them.

“Definitely.  Now, I’m only working with one mysterious individual going by a fake name.  And,” she added, tossing the coat to the ground and running her hand up under Liara’s plain white undershirt, “I trust her a lot more.”

“I am glad to hear…”  Liara’s words were cut off by a groan of pleasure as Shepard’s fingers found her nipple and rolled it between them.  She moved to reciprocate, her suddenly shaky hands looking for the buttons of Ashara’s shirt, her lips pressing against her face and neck, the taste of skin reminding Liara that Ashara really had come back alive.

Before she could do more than get Ashara’s shirt open though, the commander spun her around, pressing her against the wall while her strong fingers continued to massage her soft blue breasts.  Shepard’s free hand dropped down between her legs, unbuttoning the information broker’s white pants enough to slide inside them, pushing her underwear out of the way in her eagerness.  Liara’s brain started refusing to form words as she felt the welcome pressure against her clit, the urgent yet precise strokes beginning to satisfy a craving that had erupted within her with impressive force.

Ashara didn’t appear to be suffering from the same limitation, and as she fingered the asari, her voice was husky.  “I love you, Liara,” she breathed.  “And I love this so much.”  She pressed a kiss against the back of her crest, and Liara could only moan in agreement.  “I love the way your body feels under my hands.  I love the sounds you make.  And I love how slick and good you feel around me.”  Her fingers slid inside Liara and the Shadow Broker felt her knees start to give way underneath her but before she could fall,  Shepard moved forward, her body supporting her lover’s while she continued.

Liara could feel herself coming undone, her mind overwhelmed by a pleasure so much better than the one she was now glad she had denied herself earlier, but she managed a final, semi-coherent question.  “Wait, love.  What about you?”

“It's okay,” Ashara reassured her, her fingers speeding up the pace.  “I know you’ll get to me.  I made you worry; let me do this.”  Liara could only nod as Shepard’s palm rubbed against her clit while her fingers pressed against her inner walls.  Her reservations gone, she let herself go, allowing Ashara to support her, to take her, the pleasure banishing the lingering clouds of doubt remaining from her painful wait.

“Yes, Liara,” Shepard whispered, her breath hot against her flushed skin, “Let me feel this, feel how much you want me.”  Desperately thrusting her hips against Ashara’s hand, Liara felt the last of her reserve slipping away, and with a final caress of Shepard’s fingers inside her, she came, collapsing into Ashara’s arms as her body shook with pleasure.  Shepard held her, her strokes not stopping but slowing, gentler now, prolonging Liara’s pleasure, drawing every last drop of it out of her.

When she could finally think again, Liara pulled herself up and turned around to look at Shepard.  Her lover’s green eyes were shinning with joy, and the simple knowledge of how much Ashara enjoyed her orgasm overwhelmed Liara.  She pulled the human to her, pressing their mouths together, conveying as much feeling as could with the enthusiasm of her kiss.  She ran an affectionate hand through her short blonde hair before stepping back to yank off the remains of her clothes, her undershirt, pants, boots, and now soaked panties joining her jacket on the floor.

Ashara licked her lips as she watched, but when Liara laughed, “You too,” the commander hastily moved to undress herself as well.  She looked magnificent Liara thought, the few bruises and scrapes the mission had left on her overwhelmed by the impression of strength and renewed confidence she gave off.  Moving back into her embrace, Liara guided her lover towards the bed, laying down on top of her.  For a moment, she just let herself lie there, feeling Ashara’s arms hold her close, the comforting sound of her heartbeat clearly audible as her head rested against her chest.  She could hear though a sharpness in Shepard’s breathing, and she knew from past experience that she would be aching for her touch, something Liara was more than happy to give to her.

She lavished kisses on Ashara’s body as she slid down, brushing her lips over her nicks and scrapes, and pressing her tongue over her pleasure points.  Her lover moaned loudly, and Liara could tell she’d been right about how much Ashara needed this.  Looking up coyly, delight filling her bright blue eyes, she dropped down between the commander’s legs, finding her wonderfully wet.  Liara loved that she could make her feel this way.  When she’d first met Shepard, she’d thought she had no chance to with someone as incredible as her, and to see the effect that she had was still a thrill.

As she started to run her tongue over Shepard’s outer lips, the commander’s hips began moving against her almost immediately, writhing in response to her ministrations and Liara concluded that slow was definitely not the way to go here.  They’ll have all night for that, and right then she wanted to give Ashara the same release the human just gifted her with.  Her fingers drew back Ashara’s folds and she caressed the bud between them with her tongue.  It had taken her a little practice to get this right, but she’s never minded studying.

Shepard shuddered around her, and her hand reach downed, lovingly stroking the folds of Liara’s crest as the asari continued.  When Ashara found a particularly sensitive spot, Liara gasped, her concentration on what she was doing broken.  Without meaning to, her eyes flashed black for a second and she brushed against Shepard’s thoughts.  Further desire filled her when she felt the arousal there, but even as she pulled back, Ashara smiled down at her.  “It’s okay.  Join with me.”

“I wanted to make this for you.  What you just did to me…”

“Don’t worry, I want this.  Only please,” Liara could hear the fierce desire in Shepard’s voice, “Keep going.”

She lowered her head again, and as she took in Shepard’s rich taste, she let her mind reach out, Ashara’s thoughts merging with hers.  Alongside the love and wanting, there was a sense of relief and well-earned satisfaction.  Ashara had been worried about the mission to attack the Collectors, an anxiety compounded by the guilt she’d felt when she lost the crew to them, and to have brought all of her people home safely had freed the desires that were always present but too often forced to the back of her thoughts by duty.

While Liara’s tongue moved back over Shepard’s clit, she could feel the human’s fingers resume playing with her crest.  The echo of Ashara’s pleasure combined with the pressure against the ridges there were making her own still-sensitive body begin to ache with desire again.  “Go ahead,” Ashara’s voice in her head told her.  “I’ll enjoy it too.”  Thus encouraged, she slid a hand down between her thighs, massaging herself, trying to satisfy the throbbing that she felt while she licked Shepard.

“Please, more.”

Hearing the words in her lover’s thoughts pushed Liara forward, savoring every reaction she elicited.  As she felt Shepard getting closer, she whispered in her mind, “I see that this was worth coming back to,” and the only word she heard back was, “Yes.”  Ashara crashed over the edge, and as her fingers her gripped Liara’s head, the asari tumbled with her, the bond and a final press of her own hand more than sufficient stimulation to allow her to join lover in shared ecstasy.

Their pleasure gradually ebbed, and slowly withdrawing her thoughts, she crawled back up to lose herself again in Ashara’s embrace.  The human kissed her passionately on the lips, and her pale green eyes sparkled as she asked, “So, have I worn you out yet?”

Liara laughed happily as she buried her face in the commander’s neck, and in-between kisses she replied.  “I think I may still have the strength for a further celebration.”

It was some time later that they lay peacefully in bed, their passion sated at last.  As Shepard stroked Liara’s back, she mouthed an apology the asari had not asked her for.  “I’m sorry I can only stay the one day.”

“It is all right.  I’m simply glad that you were able to come.”

Shepard laughed, “I certainly did.  Repeatedly,” and Liara blushed at her own naïveté.  She was still getting used to the fact that to some humans, virtually anything could function as a double entendre.  At least her lover was not nearly as bad as Joker.  “Don’t worry though,” Shepard assured her.  “I just have to rescue some doctor for Hackett that got captured by the batarians.  After destroying the Collectors, this should be a piece of cake.”


	10. Separate Paths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liara gets a call from Shepard but it's not what she wanted to hear.

“Ashara. It is so good to hear from you. I…”

Before she could get any further, Liara realized that something was wrong. It had been five days since she’d seen Shepard. Her fears about the mission beyond the Omega 4 Relay had proven unfounded; Ashara had succeeded brilliantly, destroying the Collector Base and rescuing the captured crew without losing a single member of her team, and afterwards, she had come to Hagalaz to celebrate.

Their reunion, though blissful, was sadly short however. Shepard had needed to leave after one night, Admiral Hackett having asked her to complete a mission for him in batarian space. She’d promised to call afterwards, but Liara’s initial relief at the confirmation that her lover had returned safely was stopped in it’s tracks by the haunted look she now saw in Ashara’s pale green eyes.

“Liara, I… something’s happened.” Shepard’s voice was uncertain, hollow even. Liara had never heard her like that before. She thought of Virmire, of the commander’s grief and anger after she’d made the decision to leave Kaiden behind, but even then, she hadn’t sounded as haunted as she did right now.

“What is it, love?”

“The Reapers, they were… they were already on their way. Even before I destroyed the Collectors, they were coming. They’re in the Bahak system now.”

A spike of panic shot through Liara. “But there is a relay in that system. They could be almost anywhere in the galaxy in a matter of hours.”

“No. They can’t. Not yet anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“I destroyed it.” Shepard’s voice sounded incredibly far away, like it was coming from the bottom of a pit. “The relay.”

Liara’s mind reeled. She’d always thought of the Mass Relays as eternal, fixed points in the galaxy. “How is that even possible?”

“I crashed an asteroid into it. The explosion, it wiped the whole system.” Shepard choked up as she forced out her next words. “There were 300,000 batarians… They’re all… There wasn’t time…”

The revelation struck the asari like a shot to the chest. “Oh Goddess, Ashara.” There were tears in Shepard’s eyes, and the distance between them felt like a chasm. All that Liara wanted was to put her arms around her lover, to comfort her the way Ashara had done after they defeated the Shadow Broker, but the best she could manage right then was to fumble for words that might ease her pain. “You had no choice. If you had not…”

“You don’t think I know that?! That I would have done it if there was any other way?! I killed 300,000 people because I didn’t have a fucking choice!”

“I am so sorry. I did not mean…”

“No, I’m the one who should be sorry.” Liara saw that the rage that had flashed so hot an instant earlier had already burned out, replaced with a deep sadness. “It’s not your fault. It’s just… That’s what this war is going to be, isn’t it? One terrible sacrifice after another, no matter what we do.”

Liara yearned to tell her otherwise, but she hadn’t wanted false reassurances before Ashara went to fight the Collectors, and her lover didn’t need them now. “Probably. I do not know. All I can tell you is that whatever comes, we will face it together.”

“I hope so.” Ashara sighed, sounding uncertain about even that small promise. “Liara, there’s something I have to do now.” The asari could see Shepard regaining her bearings, the vulnerability she had allowed herself to show passing as the disciplined commander returned. “I have to go back to Earth. Hackett knows what I did and why, but the rest of the Alliance needs to be warned. I bought us a little time, but the Reapers will get to another relay. It might take weeks, or months, but they’re still coming and we have to prepare.”

“What about the batarians? Will they want revenge?”

“Hackett was worried about that but I don’t think it matters.”

“Why is that?” Ashara said nothing, and then it hit Liara. “Because the Hegemony is about to be destroyed.” Ashara grimaced and there was a longer silence before the asari added quietly. “Let me come with you.”

“You know you can’t. Between this and my time with Cerberus, I may be detained for a while, and I need you out here. Your resources, your contacts, you have to use them to find some way to help stop these bastards. That has to come first.”

Deep down, Liara had known that even before she’d spoken. “You are right, of course. I just wish…”

“I know. And thanks for offering. It meant a lot.”

“I love you, Ashara.”

“And I love you, Liara. But right now, the galaxy needs Commander Shepard and the Shadow Broker to save it.”

Liara forced herself to smile a little. “Well, then, we had better not let them down.” 

“I have to go tell the crew now. No reason they should all end up in Alliance lockup with me.”

“Goodbye, Shepard.” Liara fought to keep the tears out of her eyes. She’d only just gotten Ashara back, and to be separated again for Goddess knew how long while the end of the world approached hurt, but the commander was carrying enough right then without Liara adding her own burdens to the load.

“Bye, Liara. I’ll see you… whenever I can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is one of those scenes that I assume would have taken place but that the game doesn't show you.


	11. An Invasion and a Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are worse things than being on Mars studying the Prothean Archives. But there are better ones too.

“How’re you, Doctor T’Soni?”

Though she answered the soldier’s question with a simple, “I am well, Lieutenant Tompkins,” the truth was far more complicated.  Under ordinary circumstances, she would have been thrilled to be on Mars.  The archives there were probably the best-preserved source of information on the protheans remaining in the galaxy, and to be granted access to them was an incredible privilege.  These, however, were anything but ordinary circumstances.

The six months since Shepard turned herself in to the Alliance hadn’t been agonizing in the way that the two years after her death were.  Liara’s intelligence sources had let her know that her love was safe and well treated, but also that she wasn’t being allowed to do anything useful.  Ashara would be going crazy under those conditions, and to be unable to be with her, to provide whatever comfort she could, pained Liara deeply.

It hurt too how little time she and Shepard had had together since they rekindled their relationship.  A night after Hagalaz, a night after the Collector base, a few brief calls, and then they were separated again.  Those moments had been so good, their renewed love so powerful, but now she was worried again, concerned about the effects of another long separation after so brief a reunion.

She wanted to hold Ashara again so badly that it hurt sometimes.  The heat of Ashara’s skin under her fingers, the texture of her hair, the strength of her voice: those were the things that filled Liara’s dreams, at least the good ones.  But even though Ashara felt so close, Liara couldn’t find a way to even speak to her.  The Alliance wasn’t allowing Shepard to receive calls from outside parties, and while Liara suspected she could bypass their security, it wouldn’t be wise.  Not only could it publicize her identity as the Shadow Broker, there was a risk it would further complicate her lover’s precarious legal situation.  Visiting would be even worse, costing Liara time she didn’t have even if she could get the clearance.

Knowing that didn’t make the urge go away.  Every day she’d had to fight it, and as best she could, she’d buried herself in the work.  She attempted to make herself busy enough to forget her loneliness and her fear that Shepard would be angry at over being abandoned in her captivity.

Nor was the political situation providing a balm for her anxiety.  Shepard’s surrender had been in vain.  While there were exceptions such as Admiral Hackett, the Alliance had seemingly decided to ignore her warnings.  Nor had the asari or salarians done much more; most of the galaxy lay utterly unready for what was coming.

There were bright spots.  Garrus had made a little progress with the turians, and Wrex’s work unifying the krogan was admirable.  Despite that, Liara couldn’t escape the feeling that they were grossly unprepared.  Most ominous of all though was the silence coming from batarian space.  None of her agents there had reported in for over a week and she dreaded the day that the reason for that became evident to everyone.

That fear had lent urgency to what might otherwise have been a pleasurable exploration of the archives.  Rather than indulge her curiosity about the prothean economy or the effects of conquest on the art of their subject peoples, she and the other researchers had been searching tirelessly for something, anything, that could provide an edge when the Reapers came.

At least their search may not have been fruitless.  In the last few days, they had started to recover the plans for a device, an energy weapon on a scale she’d never seen before.  Liara wasn’t sure quite what it was or how it worked, but it was a start.  Indeed, she really should stop fretting and start applying herself to the problem of extracting the remaining data.

Turning over various prothean data storage protocols in her mind, she did not immediate register that none of her colleagues had spoken in minutes.  It was only when, in the distance, she heard a voice coming from the vid screen in the longue that she realized something was wrong.

“…not sure what it is that I’m looking at, but it’s clearly on a scale unlike anything…”

Chilly fingers of fear gripped her and she dashed into the room to find her co-workers gathered around a news program that looked as if it was being broadcast straight from her nightmares.  The report was from Earth, but the images seemed more like the memories of the prothean extinction she had seen in Ashara’s mind over two years ago.  Massive black shapes were descending out of the sky, and a whole city was on fire, chaos and death saturating every frame.

The other researchers were in shock, some sobbing, others holding each other or babbling incoherent prayers and protests against the unfolding horror.   One of them, a pretty young technician named Lisa was vomiting in a corner.  Liara understood the impulse.  Her legs felt weak, her stomach tying itself into a knot.  She had been dreading this day, but the reality was even more nauseating than she could have expected.  The target only made it worse: this was Ashara’s people’s homeworld, and her lover was down there somewhere right in the middle of the attack.

And that was one of the many reasons she couldn’t curl up into a ball and hide.  Taking a deep breath, her voice found a calm she didn’t feel inside and she tried to think about what Shepard would say if she was there.  “Listen to me.”  Her words seemed to break the spell in the room.  “I know that all of you are frightened.  I’m frightened as well.  But we cannot give in to that now.  Right here, we may have the key to stopping this atrocity and if we do not extract that information before this facility is attacked, then we will be responsible for what happens next.”

Thankfully, the researchers began to come back to life.  Pulling themselves together as best they could, they hurried back to their duties.  Most of them were going to the archives, but Liara had a different destination in mind.  Racing to her quarters, she began preparing her communications equipment for transport.  With the Reapers here, the galaxy would need the Shadow Broker more than ever.  Ashara would need… If she was even alive.  The scenes from Earth…  No, she couldn’t think about that right now.  Shepard was capable of taking care of herself and Liara had to be ready to help her.

She had left her room searching for a hand-cart to help move her things when the alarm sounded.  Her first thought was that the Reapers had arrived on Mars already, and she started making her way towards the archives looking for the intruders.  As she turned a corner however, she was confronted instead by a more mundane enemy, nearly running smack into two armored Cerberus troopers storming through the hallways.

The lead soldier leveled his Harrier at her, but she raised her hand, trapping him in a stasis field before he could pull the trigger.  His partner tried to maneuver around the frozen man, but that gave her time to duck back behind the corner and draw the Predator she had slipped into her pocket minutes earlier.  The trooper was evidently surprised to find her combat capable because he ran straight into her gun and before he knew what hit him, she pumped two bullets into his head, his corpse crumpling to the ground at her feet.  Before the stasis field could expire, she returned to it’s prisoner, emptying the rest of her clip into him.

In the distance, she heard the sounds of more Cerberus forces coming her way, drawn by the sounds of gunfire, and she dashed in the opposite direction.  She didn’t know how many there were and she had to get a handle on the situation.  What happened to base security?  How could Cerberus have gotten inside the facility so quickly?  She started making her way towards the elevator leading to the outside.  Maybe there were answers there.

She was perhaps halfway to the lift when she saw the Centurion.  The Cerberus officer had his back to her, talking on his comm, and before he could turn around, she nailed him with a stasis field.  He went down harder than the earlier troopers, his shields meaning that she required the entire clip before she was sure he was dead.

Even as she was reloading, a bullet impacted perhaps two feet above her head, ricocheting off of a pipe.  Turning, she had only just seen the two Cerberus soldiers entering the room before was she staggering backwards, the follow-up burst slamming hard into her barriers.  They held, but only barely, and she ran, diving into a vent before the troopers could get any more shots off.

The ventilation systems on the base were a maze, a narrow series of shafts twisting and turning confusingly; an excellent place to lose pursuit.  She crawled through them rapidly, giving herself a chance to recover her biotic strength before she had to deal with her attackers.  They had decided to follow her, climbing in after the asari, but in there they were at a disadvantage, their armor slowing them down.  Bullets clanged off of walls as they tried compensating for their encumbrance with firepower, but she was too far ahead, the shots not coming close as she made her way to an exit.

When they finally caught up, she was waiting.  A singularity flew from her hand, and the Cerberus troopers went straight from the vents into the air, floating helplessly, easy marks for her first shots.  She let the singularity fade, and the two dropped to the ground, wounded but perhaps still alive.  Calmly, she put two additional bullets into each of them, not willing to leave anything to chance.  Despite the danger, she felt oddly calm.  The entire galaxy was falling apart right then, and to be fighting instead of just waiting for doom to arrive gave her a small feeling of control.

And then she heard it.  First, a sound of heavy footsteps, and even as Liara turned, a voice.  Her voice.  “Easy there, Lieutenant.  She’s with us.”

She was telling a large marine to lower his rifle, but right then, neither the unknown soldier nor the familiar face of Ashley Williams held Liara’s attention because standing between them was the woman she wanted to see more than anything else in the galaxy.

“Shepard!  Thank the Goddess you’re alive!”

“You too, Liara.”  Ashara’s voice was gentle, but the relief in her voice was clear, a mirror of Liara’s own.  As the asari struggled to figure out how she should react, Shepard came up to her, clasping her hands.  Even through their gloves, the gesture was comforting, physical pressure imparting a strength she badly needed under the circumstances.

“I was so worried when the reports came in.  I’m… sorry about Earth.”  And she was a little bit sorry for how she felt as well, because as dark as things were right then, as perilous as life had become for all of them, she couldn’t help but feel a little burst of happiness.  However improbable it may have been, she believed that with Ashara by her side, they would make it.


	12. Doubt and Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Liara shows Shepard her plans for the beacon, there are still some doubts that need attention.

“Well, I suppose I did just write your name in the stars.”

The holographic image of Ashara faded out of existence, leaving the two women in darkness. For a long moment neither of them spoke, but Liara’s gloved hand covered Shepard’s bare one, and even through that small bit of contact, the asari could feel the tension in the commander’s body.

She was still considering how best to alleviate it when Ashara turned to her, her voice as shaky as Liara could remember hearing it sound. “I just hope we don’t need your beacon.”

“I know, love. You are doing all that anyone could expect of you to make sure of that.”

“I’m not sure it’s going to be enough. I’ve always thought there was nothing that couldn’t be done if I only tried hard enough. But this war… I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“None of us have, but Ashara, we would not even be alive now without you. You stopped Saren. You destroyed the Collectors. You will find a way.” Liara leaned over and gently kissed the Specter, trying to convey reassurance and love with the touch of her lips. As their mouths brushed together, Liara felt Shepard’s thoughts entwine with hers for a moment. It was a mark of their deepening relationship that the melds could start so automatically during moments of intense emotion and though controlling it was something she was working on, normally the closeness it brought was pleasant.

Not this time. Liara’s mind was assaulted with images out of the darkest of dreams. Earth falling to the Reapers as the Alliance’s ships were swatted aside like flies. Buildings filled with screaming people crumbling to the ground as Shepard ran towards the Normandy. Monsters without number overflowing the streets. Children burning beyond her ability to save them. As Liara reeled from the onslaught, Shepard recoiled, and the connection broke.

Her movement had turned on the automated lights in the cabin, and even as Liara blinked at the sudden brightness, she reached out to her lover. “Ashara? Are you all right?”

“How long, Liara?” Her voice was empty, filled with a vulnerability that Shepard didn’t show to anyone else. “How long until that’s all that’s left of me? War and death.” Ashara looked at her and the pain in her pale eyes was almost more than the asari’s heart could bear

“I will not let that happen.” Ashara was not the only one who feared this; the commander was too strong, too much of a hero to break or give up, but the price that the fighting was exacting on her soul was terrible and in that instant, Liara made a decision. She hadn’t meant to stay for very long that night. There were reports to look over and messages to send, but right now, this was more important. “You are carrying the whole galaxy on your shoulders. Just for tonight, let me carry you.”

“Liara… I don’t want to be a burden on you.”

“You are not. I want to do this.” She gave the human her best coy smile as she pulled off her gloves. “Now sit back.”

One by one, she undid the buttons of her white jacket, never breaking Ashara’s gaze while she did so. As her skin began to become visible to her lover, Liara could see the first flickers of desire starting to play in her green eyes, but when Ashara started to undo her own uniform shirt, the asari stopped her. “Wait. Just enjoy this for now. I will get to you in a moment.”

Ashara fell back into the sofa and Liara’s hands returned to her clothes, pulling her dark blue tank-top over her head, leaving her soft breasts bare in the cool air of the cabin. Slowly and sensuously, she ran a finger over a hardening nipple, a faint purr escaping her lips as she did so, and she could hear a hitch in Ashara’s breathing, the human’s tongue peeking out to moisten her lips.

Smiling at having produced the effect she desired, Liara moved her hands downward, unbuttoning her pants and shimming out of them along with her boots and socks. Clad only in her plain white panties she took a step closer to Ashara, and knelt down in front of her. She felt a reverent hand running along the side of her crest and she looked up into the human’s intent eyes, finding them filled with a desperate longing that wasn’t quite like anything she’d ever seen there before. 

Deftly, she undid one button after another, and when she peeled off the commander’s shirt, she lavished kisses on Ashara’s bare stomach. The muscles beneath the skin were tense under her touch, and she could hear a strain behind every breath her lover took. “Oh, love,” she whispered, unhooking Shepard’s black bra and tossing it onto the growing pile of clothes.

The commander had already done so much, given so much to the galaxy. It wasn’t fair that it kept asking for more from her. Liara wanted more than almost anything to take away all of the pain and stress that Ashara was suffering. She deserved peace and joy, and for tonight at least, perhaps Liara could give her some.

As she cupped Ashara’s firm breasts with her hands, a deep, needful sound emerged from the back of the Specter’s throat, something between a purr and a growl. Liara lowered her head to a pink nipple, taking it in her mouth and pulling on it slightly. Ashara gasped and Liara felt the hand against her crest press firmer, Shepard’s need evident in the way she was touching the asari. Her hands unfastened Ashara’s pants and removed them in one motion along with her black underwear. Liara lowered her head and started to run her tongue up her lover’s thigh when the human gasped, “Wait. Liara. I… I want you too.”

She looked up, licking her lips seductively. “You will have me. Just give it time.”

Ashara spread her legs, allowing the asari access to the most sensitive parts of her and Liara wasted no time in sending her mouth there. Her hands rubbed the human’s pale thighs while her nimble tongue began to dart over Ashara’s folds. Her lover wasn’t as wet yet as Liara normally found her in moments such as this; the stress, she supposed. It was all right though; she would take as long as she needed to.

Slowly, she made her way inward, tracing first over the outer lips before circling down towards Ashara’s entrance. As she gently pleasured the human, she could hear her sigh with each stroke of her tongue, clearly enjoying what she was feeling but still hesitant, part of her mind elsewhere. Liara whispered insistently, “It is all right, love.” Parting Shepard’s folds, she placed a wet kiss on the head of her clitoris, feeling her shudder with desire. “Just let go for a little while. Let me take care of you.”

At last some of the tension started to leave Shepard’s body and Liara’s tongue continued it’s work, darting past the commander’s opening, flicking in and out of her. She loved Ashara’s taste: rich, and strong and uniquely her, and when the moans from above her began to grow louder, the asari felt her own clit throb against the material of her underwear.

She closed her lips around the engorged head of Ashara’s bud, and as she did, the human cried out, voicing some of the built-up feeling inside her. Liara was relentless in her ministrations, sliding two fingers inside the commander’s now-slick entrance, feeling Ashara push her body desperately into her thrusts, craving all of Liara that she could get.

The asari went hard and fast, suckling on the sensitive cluster of nerves in her mouth while her hand pressed into Shepard. Right now Ashara needed as much as Liara could give her, to lose herself in something other than pain.

The Specter’s motions grew more fevered, her hands pulling Liara closer to her, her hips bucking frantically, and when she started to come, her scream of pleasure was loud enough that the asari was glad the cabin was the only room in that part of the ship. Ashara’s inner walls throbbed around Liara’s fingers and rather than stopping her thrusts, she kept up her pace, prolonging her lover’s orgasm as much as she could. Finally, when the last ecstatic shudders had stopped, she withdraw her hand, sliding up alongside Ashara only to be drawn into a passionate kiss.

“Thank you, Liara. I guess I really did need that.” Through the heaving breaths, there’s a renewed strength in Ashara’s voice that fills Liara with pride and more than a little arousal.

“It was my pleasure.”

“Mm, I was thinking this would be.” Ashara’s hand snaked down between Liara’s legs, and as the human rubbed her clit through the thin, damp fabric of her panties, a whimper of pleasure escaped the Shadow Broker’s lips. The taste, the sound, the feel of Shepard had left her so wet, so turned on that every little motion of her lover’s fingers, even through the material, was incredibly good.  
Ashara pulled her close, and as she took a blue nipple into her mouth, Liara gasped sharply into her ear. The asari was almost embarrassed at how responsive she was. This was supposed to be for Ashara.

Her lover didn’t seem to mind her desire though, yanking off her underwear and settling Liara on her strong thigh. As Shepard’s mouth switched breasts, Liara began rocking her hips against the human’s leg, trying to increase the friction against her, clear now that this was what Ashara wanted. The commander moved a hand between her legs, and as her skillful fingers found Liara’s clit, the asari pressed against them, shocks of pleasure filling her senses. Ashara’s wet tongue moved from her breasts, trailing up the side of her neck before gliding along the sensitive folds of her crest. Shepard’s voice was husky with arousal as she whispered, “Meld with me. Please.”

Liara needed no further invitation and her eyes went black with desire, latching onto Ashara’s thoughts as she rode her hand. Inside, she could still feel the pain and doubt that had plagued the Specter earlier, but they were distant now, buried beneath a burning torrent of desire and love, her partner’s need only partially sated by her earlier climax. She slid a hand between Ashara’s parted legs to give her some further relief, but when she started to rub small circles across her clit, her lover’s voice in her mind stopped her.

“Don’t.”

“I want to, love, for you.”

“You did. Just leave your hand there and let me enjoy this through you.”

Liara relaxed, giving herself over to the pleasure, sharing as much as possible through the meld. Ashara’s fingers pressed deep inside her, curling and pushing against her inner walls while her palm maintained contact with Liara’s clitoris. Ashara’s other hand stroked her crest, and as her mouth sought out whatever skin it could find: lips, neck, shoulder blades, breasts, Liara felt herself approaching her limit. She wasn’t sure if she should try to hold off, but Shepard’s voice in her thoughts kept urging her forward with each thrust of her hand. “Yes, Liara,” she sent, her fingers filling her, her thigh pushing her palm hard against her clit, “God, I love how you feel around me. So hot, so wet.”

“Only for you, Ashara.”

“Then come for me. I want to feel it.”

“Goddess!” Hearing those words, Liara let go, throwing her head back as she tumbled into her climax. Her fingers pressed unconsciously against Shepard as she did, and the force of her pleasure along with her touch pulled the human with her, the wonderful mirroring of ecstasy filling both of their minds. Ashara held her close as they came, her need for every inch of the asari she loved filling Liara’s thoughts as their bodies lay trembling against each other, the waves of their shared climax passing only slowly.

Their minds separated, but they remained entwined, curled up together on the couch. For a few blissful minutes, they stayed that way, just feeling their press of their bodies together, enjoying the peace they found in each other’s love. Ashara’s breathing was steady now, the pained edge gone from it, and it was only when the caress of her hand down Liara’s back stopped that the asari realized she had drifted off to sleep.

Liara wanted to fall asleep like that with her, to spend the whole night there, but she knew that it wasn’t possible. Careful not to disturb her lover, she slipped from her arms, easing Shepard gently onto the cushions. Taking a sheet from the commander’s bed, she draped it over the human’s resting form before going to put back on her hastily discarded clothes. With a final, gentle kiss to Ashara’s cheek, she made her way to the door. She still had a long night of work ahead of her but this was worth it. She could always skip the next mission if she was too tired; her lover didn’t have that luxury but at least, for this one night, perhaps Ashara would get her first peaceful sleep in Goddess knew how long.


	13. A Request and an Inquiry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the Cerberus coup on the Citadel, there's some lingering business to take care of.

Liara took another sip of her tea, sitting back and trying to enjoy the view of the Presidium from Apollo’s Café. If she didn’t know, she would never have guessed that the station had been the site of a massive battle only the day before. The open spaces, the green of the plants, the sheer variety of species bustling by at any given moment: all of them suggested a peaceful normalcy that there was so little of these days. Honestly, savoring the little moments was something she’d never been particularly good at. Her work, whether as an archeologist or as the Shadow Broker, tended to become an obsession for Liara.

It probably helped to explain why she’d never taken a lover until one more or less dropped out of the sky onto her blue head. That day on Therum had changed her life in more ways than she could easily count but somewhere on that list was that Ashara had helped her to see the value of personal time.

Right now, though, her girlfriend was busy. Thane Krios had been badly wounded during the Cerberus attack on the Citadel and, combined with his Kepral’s Syndrome, there was no chance that he would recover from his wounds. Ashara had gone to say her goodbyes but given how little Liara knew the drell, she had thought it best to leave that moment between the two of them.

Still, the impending loss of another member of the extended _Normandy_ family had left Liara in a pensive mood, especially coming so soon after Mordin’s death. She had known the salarian a little better, and liked him as well. He’d talked about staying on the ship after they cured the genophage and the archeologist in her had been looking forward to having another scientist to talk with. Picking idly at her fasi berry muffin, it was hard not to wonder who would be next, how many more would be lost even if they were to prevail. Liara had lost so much already, starting with her mother, and the thought of more death was sapping her appetite.

"Muffin no good?”

Looking up, Liara saw the familiar sight of Ashley Williams standing over her. Another friend she had very nearly lost, this one not a day earlier, right here on the Presidium.

"It is fine. I am simply not very hungry.” She pushed the pastry aside. “Is there something I can do for you?” There was an unexpected edge in her voice, but the thought of having had to shoot Ashley, or worse, of Shepard having been forced to do it, still chilled the Shadow Broker.

"Do you mind if I sit down?” The second human Spectre sounded more tentative than Liara was used to and she motioned for Ashley to join her.

The marine settled into the chair across from Liara, setting down her own cup of coffee. “Liara,” she started with a sigh, the same incident clearly on her mind as well, “I know I messed up. I get that.” The asari said nothing, instead sipping her tea slowly. She could hear the pain in Ashley’s voice, but she also remembered how much Spectre’s repeated refusals to trust Shepard had hurt the woman Liara loved.

"I guess the things I saw when we fought Cerberus, the experiments they ran, they blinded me,” Ashley continued, “I just couldn’t believe that working with them could be the right thing to do.”

Liara nodded, sympathizing a bit more now with Ashley’s quandary. She had, after all, seen many of those same horrors. “It was difficult for me as well. Deciding to help Cerberus recover Shepard’s body without knowing what they would do with it was one of the hardest choices I ever had to make.”

Ashley shook her head. “But you made the right call. I didn’t. Shepard saw everything I did in those Cerberus labs and more. If she was working with them, I should have trusted that she had a damn good reason for doing it.”

Liara smiled a little. She had believed that it was the right thing for the galaxy to help Cerberus resurrect Ashara, but she couldn’t deny that her desire to bring her lover back might have influenced her judgment. Ashley hadn’t shared that particular incentive. “I understand,” she reassured the Spectre. “It is done now.”

"Is it?”, Ashley asked. “Liara, I came to you because I need your help. Hackett offered to let me join his personal team, but that’s not where I want to be. I want to make things right with Shepard and come back to the _Normandy_. Nobody knows her better than you do. What can I say to her to convince her that I deserve a fresh start?”

Liara thought for a moment, reflecting on the road that had led them to this conversation. She and Ashley hadn’t exactly gotten off on the best foot after Therum. The marine had been suspicious of Liara’s intentions and been disapproving of her relationship with Shepard, at least at first. Over the course of the mission, though, she had warmed considerably to the asari and by the time the _Normandy_ had been destroyed, Liara had counted Ashley as a friend. More than that, though, Liara knew how much her girlfriend valued Ashley and right now, Ashara needed all the emotional support she could get.

"Just be honest with Shepard,” Liara advised the marine. “She still cares a great deal for you. If she knows you want to come back, she’ll let you.” Ashara always wanted to see the best in people unless they forced her to do otherwise. It was one of the things Liara loved about her, even if her own work as the Shadow Broker forced her to be a bit more cynical.

Ashley brightened a little, taking a swig of her coffee. “You really think it’s that simple?”

"She misses you, Ashley. You belong on the _Normandy_. She just needs to know that your fighting is in the past.”

"It is,” the Spectre said emphatically. “Whatever happens, win or lose, I’m with her.”

"In that case,” Liara replied with real warmth, “I believe I am not being overly premature to say, ‘welcome back, Ashley.’”

Ashley reached across the table and clasped the asari on the shoulder. “Thanks, Liara. I really appreciate it.”

The Spectre left to find Shepard before she returned to the _Normandy_ , but Liara, in spite of her improving appetite, only managed to make it part of the way through the rest of her muffin before she was interrupted once more.

"Asari.”

She looked up at the sound of the deep voice. “Yes, Javik?” Liara had been so elated to have found a living representative of the protheans, but the more time she spent with Javik, the more skeptical she became that they were the enlightened exemplars of wisdom she had always imagined them to be. It was just one more piece of her childish naïveté that she had lost in this war, she supposed.

The prothean did not bother sitting down. “I observed you speaking with that human, Ashley Williams.”

"That’s right,” Liara replied tentatively, already cautious as to the direction of the conversation.

"I do not understand. I had assumed she was to be executed.”

"Executed?!” Liara nearly choked on her tea. “Why would you think such a thing?”

"She drew a weapon on her superior officer. She acted in support of an enemy operation. Her death is the only logical consequence of such actions.”

The asari sighed. “Javik, she made an honest mistake. She was concerned that Shepard was working for Cerberus. Ashley may have been wrong, but she did not act out of malice.”

"And for that reason, her death should be swift. Had she been guilty of treason, that would not be the case.”

"Well, that’s not how we ‘primitives’ handle things. The sooner you accept that, the easier it will be for you to adapt to this cycle.”

"I have no wish to adapt to this cycle. Your tolerance of such mistakes is a weakness you can ill-afford. The Reapers will punish you harshly for that.”

"We will see,” Liara replied defensively. “We have made it this far with our tolerant attitude. I would not underestimate us.” She paused. “And if I were you, I would not bring this matter up with either Ashley or Commander Shepard. They have quite enough on their minds as it is.”

"As you say.” The harshness in his four eyes didn’t waver. “I may not agree with the commander’s decision, but unlike Lieutenant Williams, I know how to respect orders.”

Javik turned and strode away, his very gait seeming to express a disdain for everything around him while Liara drank down the last dregs of her tea, trying to put the prothean out of her mind. In spite of his misgivings, she was convinced that Ashley’s return was a good thing. It would have been better, perhaps, if they had more time to rebuild the relationship, but that was a luxury in times such as these. She swallowed down the last of her muffin. As pleasant as it might be to sit here in the café, it was time for her to get back to the war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We get so few instances of the crew interacting without Shepard. I hope you found this one interesting.


	14. A Promise and a Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liara and Shepard have promised to spend their lives together. Shepard wants to know why Liara doubted they'd get there so often.

Normally, Liara and Shepard didn’t permit themselves the luxury of spending the night together. Even when they weren’t hip-deep in Reaper forces, there was always more work to do, more preparations to make and more reports to file, leaving life’s simpler pleasures to all too often fall by the wayside. 

Tonight, however, was an exception. They had promised always for the first time that afternoon on the Presidium, and if that did not merit a night in each other’s arms, then what were they fighting for? “Always,” had also been in their joined minds as they made love, and lying in the commander’s bed afterwards with Ashara’s arms wrapped around her naked body, her face nuzzling against the back of her crest, Liara felt as at peace as she had in a long time.

That calm was disrupted by the serious tone in Shepard’s voice when she broke the silence. “Liara, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course, love. Anything.”

“Why did you keep doubting that I wanted this?”

The asari felt her happy state of mind dissipating. “I.. I am not quite sure what to say.”

“I don’t mean when we were hunting for Saren. You had never been with anyone before and I understood that you weren’t certain where we were going at first. I’m talking about… when we beat the Shadow Broker, and after Mars, you kept asking me if I still wanted to be with you.” The human’s arms pulled tighter around her. “On Hagalaz, I get it I guess. I’d been dead, and a lot of stuff had happened. But even today, before I said I wanted to spend my life with you, you were talking about being friends. Liara, I think we’ve been a lot more than friends for a long time.”

A lump formed in the asari’s throat. “Ashara… I know that. It is not that I did not want… I always loved you, desired you.”

She felt a warm kiss on the back of her neck and Ashara laughed affectionately. “I kind of had some hints. I mean every time I said that I was interested, you were pretty quick to agree. But then why did you keep asking me? Couldn’t you tell how I felt?”

Liara didn’t know how to explain it, how to put her doubts into words, but she owed it to her lover to try. “It is just… you have always been under such terrible pressures, and I did not want to add to them. I wanted to be with you, but I did not think it was fair to make you feel as if I expected you…”

“Liara,” Shepard interrupted her. “Being with you has never been a burden. Sometimes, especially these days, it’s one of the few things that makes me really feel alive, like there’s still good left in the galaxy.” Her words soothed Liara’s thoughts, but Shepard wasn’t done. “Was that really the only reason though? I don’t mean to ruin the moment, it’s just… this confused me sometimes and I’d like to know.”

“No. There is more…” A tear ran down the asari’s cheek and she buried her face in the pillow, ashamed that her fears had distressed the woman she loved. “When I was growing up, I had few friends. My mother’s fame intimidated many people, but more than that, I was not very socially adept. As I matured, I did not get much attention from the other maidens.”

She felt silly saying the words, but she was reassured by a sympathetic caress of Shepard’s hand across her stomach, and Liara continued. “Being with you, sometimes it did not feel entirely real. I kept expecting that I would lose you somehow. Mostly I worried about the battles you fought, but… you are Commander Shepard. There are countless people who desire to be with you. I feared for a long time that you might come to prefer someone else and I did not want to presume.”

Gently, Ashara turned Liara over so that her pale green eyes were looking straight into the asari’s blue ones. Her voice was affectionate, but also emphatic, making it clear that she meant every word that she spoke. “Liara, that will never happen. You are lovely, and brilliant, and sexy, and brave. I love you and there is no one else that I want. If I have ever done anything to make you doubt that, then I am very sorry, but I hope that you never will have cause to again.”

Liara brushed the tears from her eyes. Goddess, she felt fortunate at that moment to have found such a wonderful partner. “You did nothing wrong, love. It was only my insecurities. Usually, I knew how you felt, but sometimes, especially when we were apart for a long period of time, I would start to worry that things had changed between us. When we would be together again, I needed the reassurance.” She smiled. “After today though, I think that the depth of your feelings has finally sunken in.” Liara paused, running her fingers through Ashara’s dirty blonde hair, before adding, “My bondmate.”

“My bondmate,” Ashara repeated, joy evident in her voice, before kissing Liara tenderly on the lips. Liara had told the human earlier that day that in light of the pledge they had made, the term was appropriate. 

“We do not need a ceremony,” she had explained. “For an asari, it is enough that each of us knows that this is what the other wants.” She truly had known then, and feeling Ashara’s loving arms pull her close, she did believe that they had a future together, if only they could survive long enough to see it.


	15. The Edge of Destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night before the Battle for Earth, Shepard pays Liara a visit.

The images on the vid screens were starting to blur together and Liara blinked, trying to clear the fatigue from her eyes. The asari knew she needed to rest. Tomorrow, the assembled fleet would jump into the Sol system and the final battle of the Reaper War would begin. Tonight, though, there were too may questions that even the Shadow Broker didn’t have an answer for to let her sleep.

She was shaken out of her distraction by the sound of the door behind her sliding open. “Hey, Liara.” A smile spread across the asari’s face and she turned to see her bondmate standing in the entranceway. “Mind if I come in? I know you’re working but…”

“No, it is fine. I have been meaning to stop anyway. You can save me from myself.”

“Glad to help.” Ashara stepped inside, the door closing behind her, and her nimble fingers stroked her bondmate’s cheek.

Liara bent her freckled face into the contact, enjoying the feel of her lover’s warm skin pressed against her. “Isn’t it usually me who comes to see you the night before our battles,” she asked playfully.

“Well, maybe I thought I’d change things up.” Shepard’s arm finished wrapping around her head and Liara felt a little of the tension that was built up inside her release. The Spectre’s presence was always a comfort, but tonight, even it couldn’t take all of her worries away so easily. “What’ve you been doing anyway?”

The asari sighed wearily. “Looking over the reports from the evacuation of the Citadel. The Council got out on the _Destiny Ascension_ , but so many others did not. Captain Bailey was killed trying to buy time for the refugees in the docks to escape…”

She could see Ashara’s face fall slightly, a crack appearing in her cheerful façade. “Bailey? Damn it.” Goddess, the Spectre sounded weary of the death. Liara thought for the thousandth time how badly she wanted this war to be over. “What about your father?”

“That is what has been keeping me up,” Liara admitted. “There is nothing I can find on Aethyta. It seems that a bartender wasn’t important enough for anyone to take note of with everything else that’s going on.”

“Hey.” Shepard took and her and led her up out of her chair, wrapping her arms around the tired asari. “We’ll find her. When this is all over, we’ll sort everything out.”

A little smile crossed Liara’s freckled face at her bondmate’s optimism. “You seem confidant that we’ll be here to do the sorting.”

“I have to be,” Ashara sighed, and Liara could almost see the weight of the galaxy on her bondmate’s shoulders.

Liara leaned in closer, planting a soft kiss on her bondmate’s lips. “You have brought us this far.”

Always quick to share the credit, Ashara grinned back at her. “You’re the one who brought me here. I’d probably be on a slab in the Collector base if you hadn’t rescued my body. Have I thanked you enough for that?”, she asked, her hands running up and down Liara’s back, caressing her through the material of her plain white shirt.

Liara understood what her bondmate was feeling. There were so many people that Shepard couldn’t help and she wanted to at least do something for the woman she loved, a desire that meshed nicely with Liara’s own need to get away from her worries. She ran her finger down her lover’s nose and replied coyly, “I do seem to recall a ‘thank you’ or two, but it may have been a while since you last expressed your gratitude.”

“I see.” Ashara’s hand brushed lightly over the edges of the asari’s crest before rubbing the tips between her fingers. “Well, I’ll have to rectify that now.” Liara groaned with building desire, and Shepard’s hands moved downwards, unbuttoning her shirt, kissing and nipping at the skin she revealed.

“Thank you, Liara T’Soni.” Ashara placed a kiss in the hollow of Liara’s throat. “Thank you for rescuing my body.” She finished with the shirt and dropped it to the office floor. “Thank you for finding the Crucible plans.” She ran her tongue along the line of the asari’s collarbone. Her mouth was warm, her lips eager, and everything that wasn’t her was starting to drop away from Liara’s thoughts. “Thank you for all of your hard work as the Shadow Broker.” She unfastened Liara’s white bra and tossed it atop the discarded shirt, revealing soft, full breasts topped by dark blue nipples that were already hard with anticipation.

Ashara took an erect tip between her soft, pink lips, sucking enthusiastically on it while her hand caressed the bumps of the asari’s spine. Firm fingers made their way up to the bottom of Liara’s crest and the Shadow Broker felt her knees go weak. They buckled, but before she could fall, Shepard scooped her up in her strong arms. Liara wrapped her legs around her bondmate’s waist, and Ashara carried her across the small office and into the bedroom behind it. She never broke contact with Liara’s breast while she walked, kissing and licking it until she laid the asari down on her narrow bed.

Shepard followed swiftly after her, her mouth falling now on the other breast, lavishing the same treatment on it while her palm covered the one she had left behind. Liara whimpered as Shepard rubbed the nipple, her fingers stroking her lover’s dirty blonde hair while between her legs, she could feel an ache building. It had only been a few days since they’d made love before the attack on Cronos Station, but with the stress they’d been under, it felt like months.

Ashara started moving lower, her mouth leaving a trail of kisses down the smooth skin of Liara’s bare stomach before unbuttoning her dark slacks. The white panties beneath them were already damp with her arousal and Shepard pulled them off together, giving her full access to her lover. Her thumb brushed feather light over Liara’s trembling clit, and her breath was hot on Liara’s sex as she finished, “And thank you for reminding me just what we’re fighting for.”

Before Liara could respond, coherent though was banished as Ashara’s hands ran over her hips and her bondmate’s tongue leapt to work, flicking over her waiting bud. Shepard had gotten to know her so well and tonight she was using all of the skills she had spent months developing. Her mouth teased at Liara’s clit, her fingers pressed against her inner walls, finding all the spots that made the asari respond, and when she needed more, Ashara gave it to her, sucking enthusiastically on the throbbing bundle of nerves in her mouth.

It wasn’t long before Liara was dissolving into a trembling mass of need, soothed and inflamed at the same time by the skillful strokes of her lover’s fingers and tongue. She was teetering, but that night she needed not to take her pleasure alone. She needed Shepard to come with her and her voice chocking, she, pleaded, “Wait, Ashara. Goddess, I want to have you too.”

Ashara lifted her head, heat burning in her pale green eyes, and simply answered, “Yes.” Their hands fell to the buttons of her uniform, pulling them apart with unseemly haste, and only the knowledge Shepard would need the clothes to make it back to her cabin in a decent state stopped Liara from ripping them off with her biotics.

Still, the garments came off easily enough and as soon as Shepard was as naked as the information broker, Liara pulled her close for a single passionate kiss, taking in her own flavor along with the taste of her lover’s mouth. They tumbled down to the bed together before Shepard turned around, allowing her to bury her head back between Liara’s legs while the asari did the same. She could taste the thick flavor of Ashara’s arousal coating her sex and her own desire spiked at the effect that just going down on her had on her bondmate.

Ashara’s mouth covered her clit again and the need to meld that had been pulling at Liara returned, stronger than ever. Her thoughts were reaching out, trying to find Shepard, and she barely managed to gasp out an “Embrace eternity,” before they flew forth, knowing that she would be welcome in Ashara’s mind.

Feelings and desires merged together, and when she parted Shepard’s folds and took her bondmate’s clit in her mouth, it was as if that wet touch was on her too. There was an electric current between them, a world that their minds created together, a place where nothing existed but the two of them. She was too close to even consider holding back her orgasm, but it didn’t matter, her pleasure having pulled Ashara to the brink along with her. Their tongues moved in synchronicity, knowing just what strokes the other needed, and their pleasure took them over together.

Liara shuddered with her release and worry, tension, and fear all melted away into one long moment of bliss, shared with the woman she cherished like no other. It faded slowly into a series of loving touches and lingering aftershocks before the asari turned around, falling into Shepard’s waiting arms. Her bondmate welcomed her with a warm embrace and a contented sigh. For several minutes, neither of them made any attempt at speaking. Shepard’s hand would stroke her crest, and she’d place small kisses along the human’s collarbone, and for a time, that was enough for both of them.

Eventually, though, reality couldn’t be denied and Ashara’s hand tilted Liara’s chin up, bringing the asari face to face with her lover. “Liara,” she said tentatively, “Tomorrow, when we go to Earth…”

For an instant, Liara held her breath. She was afraid Shepard would ask her to stay behind, and the thought of not being by her side in the final battle was almost unbearable. “I want you to be with me,” Ashara finished.

Liara exhaled with relief, but there was still a flicker of doubt she needed soothed. “You know I want that too, Ashara, but are you sure this is the right decision for the mission? You should take whoever gives you the best chance to succeed.”

“And that’s you.” Shepard kissed her forehead lovingly. “Listen, I may be crazy in love, but it hasn’t made me stupid. I know what’s at stake. Back on Ilos, when I brought Ash and Wrex with me, I didn’t know how capable you were yet.” She laughed at her own foolishness. “That was my mistake. We make a great team, Liara, and there’s no one I’d rather have at my side tomorrow.”

Liara blushed slightly at the compliment, but she appreciated it all the same. They had developed a rhythm in battle together, a way of playing off of each other’s biotics, and she was glad that Shepard believed in its effectiveness. “Thank you.” She kissed her bondmate softly on the lips. “Have you given any thought as to the third member of your team.”

“Ash, I think. I know we’ve had our rough patches these last few months, but things are better now and she’s as tough as nails. She’s earned it.”

Liara managed a smile. “Garrus will be disappointed.” No doubt Javik too, and everyone else who wanted to fight beside Shepard, but she knew the turian especially would want to be there.

“True enough, but I think Ashley’s the better choice. Besides, Tali will be glad to have him with her instead.”

Liara could certainly understand that sentiment. She’d been surprised when Ashara told her their two friends were a couple now since she was never any good at picking up on the signs, but since they were, it was good they would be able to be by each other’s sides. “We’re ready, then,” she said, before taking a deep breath. “Ashara, I know you acted certain before, but what do you honestly think our chances are tomorrow? Whatever the answer, I can handle it, but I need to know.”

Shepard’s pale green eyes starred off at something Liara couldn’t see, counting ships in her head perhaps. “I know you can take the truth, but I really do think we’re going to win. We’ve got pretty much everyone with us; hell, even the leviathans are helping out. It’s an impressive force and the Crucible’s as prepared as an unfathomable super-weapon is ever going to be. It’s only…”

She sighed and Liara wrapped her arms tightly around her lover. “What is it?”

“There’s only one shot at this. When I’ve screwed up before, there’ve been other chances to make it right.” Liara knew she was thinking of Thessia. “This time, if we lose, that’s it.”

“I know. But I believe in you.”

She said it with conviction, and Shepard smiled at her. Ashara wasn’t naïve, but Liara knew she appreciated her lover’s faith. The Shadow Broker was no leader like the commander, but she could at least inspire one very special person, and that counted for a lot.

Shepard’s lips pressed against hers, a long lingering kiss that sent pleasant warmth down the asari’s spine. “All right then, I guess that’s settled and we can get some sleep,” Ashara told her playfully. “Do you want to go back up to my quarters? There’s a lot more room on the bed there.”

“It is all right,” Liara replied, nestling her head against Shepard’s chest. “Tonight, I want you close.”


	16. A Parting and an Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moments after Liara is forced to separate from Shepard during the final push on Earth.

“No matter what happens, you mean everything to me, Liara.  You always will.”

Ashara’s voice quivered as she spoke, and her gloved hand reached out to cup Liara’s cheek.  In spite of the chaos of battle surrounding them and the hammering pain of her wounds, for just an instant nothing else mattered to the asari.  That touch, and the love she saw in Ashara’s green eyes had become Liara’s entire world.

“Shepard, I…”  She tried to find some way to convey the depths of her feelings for the commander, but their sheer magnitude overwhelmed her.  As her bondmate started to pull away though, she found her voice, and over the roar of the engines and the crackles of gunfire, she mouthed the words, “I am yours.”

Though she could see in her expression that Ashara had heard her, the Specter was already starting to turn away, looking down the bleak final path she would have to brave to reach the beam that led to the Citadel.  Liara stretched out her arm, trying beyond reason to hold on to the person she loved more than any other, but Shepard turned and motioned her onto the ship.

“Go,” she ordered, and Liara knew that she had no choice but to comply.  She had been so determined to fight this last battle by Shepard’s side, but in spite of her protestations, there was simply no way that her injuries would permit her to go on.  As she watched her bondmate begin her final desperate dash towards the beam, Liara felt her knees start to give way beneath her.  It was her resolve to be strong for Ashara that had kept her upright, and with her lover disappearing into the unknown, she felt herself approaching collapse.

Only her arm draped around Ashley’s shoulder kept her on her feet, and together they staggered into the shuttle bay of the _Normandy_.  As the doors closed with a metallic finality behind her, she turned weakly to the Lieutenant-Commander, trying to find some hope to hold onto.  “She can do it, can’t she, Ashley?”

Ashley let Liara down gently on the hard floor of the hold before slumping against a crate, her own movements strained from the wounds she had taken in the blast that nearly killed Liara.  “If anyone can find a way, it’s the skipper.”

And that was the heart of it.  There was no one more capable than Shepard, but what if, finally, more had been asked of her than anyone could do?  No one had ever beaten the Reapers and millions of years of futility suggested that perhaps it was impossible.  Liara had to believe otherwise, had to think that she would see Ashara again, but lying in pain on the cold metal floor, it was hard to keep such thoughts out.

All around her, the rest of the squad, extracted earlier, began flocking in, and she titled her head up to see Garrus offering her a taloned hand.  “Come on, Liara.  Let me get you to Doctor Chakwas.”

She started to protest that she would be all right.  Somehow, even if she couldn’t be beside Ashara, it felt wrong to rest in bed while the commander was still out there fighting for all of them.

Garrus wasn’t hearing it though.  Reaching down, he scooped her up in his long arms and began carrying her towards the lift.  “You think I’m crazy?  When Shepard gets back, if she finds I’ve left you looking like this, she’ll kick my ass.”  It was a funny remark, but Liara couldn’t laugh.  Instead, she simply slumped against the turian, exhausted, and allowed herself to be taken to the medical bay.

           

“Let me have a look at you, Liara.”

Several of the beds were already filled with those injured in the battle, but Doctor Chakwas wasted no time in rushing over to see to her asari patient.

“I am… It is not as bad as it appears.”

“I should hope not, because it appears that you have some broken ribs, a slight fracturing of your left leg, and a number of cuts on your head.”

The doctor’s blunt appraisal quieted Liara’s objections for a time, and she allowed medi-gel and bandages to be applied, but when Chakwas prepared a sedative, the Shadow Broker waved her off.

“I cannot sleep.  I’m sorry but I have to… Whatever happens to Shepard, I have to know.”

The doctor nodded, compassion clear in her green eyes.  She had been perhaps the first friend aside from Ashara that Liara had made when she joined the crew and Chakwas knew as well as anyone else could what the couple meant to each other.  “I understand.  Let me know if there’s anything else I can do.”

There wasn’t though.  There was nothing anyone there could do but wait.  All around Liara, she could hear the sounds of a ship in combat, of alarms, of men and women rushing to and fro.  It was familiar from countless battles, but this time, there was something hollow in it.

Either Ashara and what remained of Hammer would make it to the Crucible and activate it or they would not.  If they succeeded the war would be won, and if they failed, then this was the end.  Virtually every resource the galaxy had left had been poured into that device and this attack.  There would be no second chance.  It was, as Ashley had put it to her a day before the battle on Earth began, “The last throw of the dice.”

As Liara lay there, the minutes ticked by with agonizing slowness.  When no word came to disturb the bustle of the med-bay, her thoughts began to darken.  Had Ashara died and they simply did not know it yet?  Was the war lost?  If it was, there was no point in running, nothing to flee to but a grim existence, living without hope until they were hunted down in an extinction that would truly have become inevitable.  No, it was here that her fate would be decided.  Either Shepard would find a way to prevail and they would have a chance to begin the life that they had dreamed of, or their war would end, if not together, then at least in the same battle.

And then there was a buzz outside of the room, some message being relayed amongst the battle-weary crew and Ashley staggered in.  She had been less badly injured than Liara and after a brief application of medi-gel, she had bullied her way back to active duty.  Liara forced herself to a sitting position, pain flowing through her battered torso, and questioned the soldier.  “Ashley, what’s happened?”

The Specter’s reply was chocking, every word conveying a depth of emotion Liara had rarely seen in the human.  “Liara, it’s the Citadel.   The arms are open.  They’re saying that it was Shepard, that she made it up there.”

Unbidden, tears began to flow down Liara’s face, exhaustion and hope stripping away any inhibitions she might have had.  Surely this was it.  Somehow, after all that they had been through, there was going to be victory.

And then a minute passed.  And another.  Nothing had happened.  The evidence of battle continued in the background with no sign that the Crucible had activated.  This couldn’t be happening.  It would simply be too cruel to have come so far and have it all fall apart at the very last.  Desperately, without anything else she could do, Liara prayed, silently begging a Goddess she had strong reason to doubt the existence of for aid.

“Please.  Do not let it end this way.  She has given so much of herself.  So much blood, so much pain.  Don’t let her die in vain, don’t...”

And then, over the intercom, she heard EDI’s voice, as calm and precise as ever.  “The Crucible has fired.”

She had done it.  Against all the odds, her bondmate had done the impossible one last time.  Liara had never felt greater pride in her lover, or greater joy that such an amazing woman had given her love to her.  She wished with all her heart that Shepard was right there so that she could tell her that and so much more, but instead, she simply lay back down on the bed, and turning her gaze upwards, she whispered two words, to the galaxy, to the Goddess, and most of all, to Ashara.  “Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s the end of The Other Side. I can’t guarantee I’ll never have another idea for a chapter somewhere in the middle, but for now, this is it for this story. However, if you’re interested in reading more about what happens after the Crucible fired, you can try What Was Saved. Thanks for reading and please leave feedback letting me know what you thought of the story; it is greatly appreciated.


End file.
